


Broken Like Me

by Quinn_Coveswena



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Angst, Anxiety, Asmodeus Being an Asshole, Celebrity Crush, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, First Dates, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I swear there are soft moments in here too, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired by Music, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romantic Fluff, The other shoe finally drops, There is way more fluff in here than I thought whoops, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Valentine's Day Fluff, emotional breakdown, y'all should expect this by now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2020-07-19 03:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinn_Coveswena/pseuds/Quinn_Coveswena
Summary: *ON HIATUS*Still struggling with the loss of his youngest brother, Alec Lightwood finds it more comfortable to isolate himself from others than it is to let them in. To get her brother out and socializing with others, Izzy brings him with her to Magnus Bane's birthday party. Due to unforeseen circumstances, Magnus and Alec spend a long time alone together and discover that they are kindred spirits, broken and lonely in ways only each other seems to understand.  But nothing in life is ever simple or easy, and when you live one as highly-publicized and fraught with drama as Magnus' is, nothing ever stays a secret for long.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my beautiful lovelies! So, stuff I mentioned in my last story didn't quite pan out, but I'm doing alright. But enough about that. I had wanted to do something Malec-based having to do with the song "broken" by lovelytheband for about a year now, but only recently did I come up with anything concrete. And boy did I run with it.
> 
> Thank you to CryptidBane for helping me put Magnus' outfit into words, Lecrit for helping me know what tag to use, and always and forever to my beta Nannette.
> 
> Instead of coming up with new hashtags for live-tweets for each story, I think I'm going to make things easier on all of us and use #coveswena for all of my fics from now on. I hope that's ok!

_I like that you're broken_  
Broken like me  
Maybe that makes me a fool  
I like that you're lonely  
Lonely like me  
I could be lonely with you

_-broken, lovelytheband_

Alec’s ears were filled with the sound of dance music the moment he opened their Uber’s door to get out. The two of them had been able to see the strobing and flashing party lights from several blocks away, like some technicolor lighthouse on acid. Alec tried to swallow back his anxiety as he tilted his head back to look up at the penthouse loft at the top of the brick building in front of him. He felt smaller beside it than he ever had amongst the city’s skyscrapers.

Izzy snuck up beside him and poked Alec in the ribs. “I promise it will be a fun time, you’ll see.”

_‘Sure_ ,’ Alec thought, rubbing the pressure point between his finger and thumb on his left hand. 

He didn’t want to be here; he could be back in his dorm room using his sister’s Netflix account to watch _Queer Eye_ for the fiftieth time through. The Fab Five’s messages of positivity and self-love still hadn’t quite sunken in all the way yet, but at least Alec was organized and not entirely useless with his wardrobe (although Izzy had picked out his outfit for tonight—a black button-up shirt with tiny white dots, matching lace-up casual shoes, and a pair of distressed jeans, all topped off with a grey military-style jacket). And he was able to cook decently enough, not that the pathetic kitchenette in his dorm building allowed him to do too much without setting off the fire alarm.

They hadn’t even entered the building yet and already Alec felt like an imposter. Sure, you could dress him up and make him look halfway decent, but that still didn’t make him worthy of rubbing elbows with some of the biggest names in Hollywood, much less attending _the_ _Magnus Bane_ ’s birthday party. Even if his little sister played the aforementioned celebrity’s love interest in a highly-anticipated movie coming out in only a few month’s time.

“C’mon,” Izzy said, grabbing Alec by the hand and pulling him into the industrial-looking apartment building. He followed along behind her without putting up a fight, despite every instinct telling him to hightail it out of there as fast as he could. Izzy was doing this for him, and Alec was doing this for her.

A year and a half ago, when Izzy had only been an up-and-comer, she’d gotten the break of a lifetime, and the Lightwood’s lives got shaken up once more. Suddenly, her popularity skyrocketed overnight, much to the joy of their politician parents who saw this as an opportunity to help themselves out as well, and her paycheck for the project helped to further finance their brother Jace’s stunt training. 

And while Alec was too proud for words to see his baby sister acting alongside his long-time celebrity crush (something Izzy teased him about constantly), he hated the added attention that this all brought to him as well. While he had managed to stay out of the limelight, as his life was nowhere near interesting enough for paparazzi and journalists to care about, Alec still had to deal with an influx of students and even staff from his film school bombarding him with questions and trying to get him to give people Izzy and Magnus’ autographs. It was everything that his socially anxious self despised, and he’d been thankful when things finally went back to normal.

Attending this party where he felt like a complete outsider wasn’t helping Alec’s anxiety either. He’d been a loner his entire life, having only one or two close friends outside of his siblings, and even they fell by the wayside as Alec retreated even further into himself in his junior year of high school. Now a junior in college, Alec still hadn’t grown out of his introverted-ness, and bringing him along as her 'plus one' was Izzy’s attempt at getting him to socialize with others. The only reason Alec went along with it was because he had never been the best at denying his sister anything.

The music got louder as the Lightwood siblings rode their way up to the top floor of the building. When the elevator doors opened they were greeted by the sight of party guests spilling out from what had to be Magnus’ apartment and into the hallway. Alec had no idea how Magnus’ neighbors hadn’t called the cops to shut the party down already. 

He and Izzy squeezed their way past the smaller crowd and into the apartment. Alec couldn’t see too much with the lights as dim as they were, but in the few seconds the bright beams of fluorescent colored lights lit up the room around them, he could make out that the place was as expensive and showy as one would expect from Magnus Bane.

No words could quite do Magnus Bane justice. He was a man who seemed to revel in pushing the boundaries of what society deemed as “normal,” always dressing in high-end show-stopping fashion, blurring traditional gender norms with the makeup and jewelry he wore, and never quite letting anyone put him into a box. And drama seemed to follow him everywhere he went.

Everyone knew the story of how it all started. When Magnus was only a boy, it was revealed that he was the secret love child between a small-town bartender/waitress and Hollywood heart-throb, Asmodeus Bane when he stepped forward to claim Magnus after the sudden death of his mother and step-father. This act then led to the very public and very volatile end of Asmodeus’ marriage to his heiress wife, Lilith. From there, Magnus started his acting career only a year later. He had racked up quite an impressive IMDB page by the time he turned eighteen and his career only grew from there. 

And, in all that time, Magnus had also managed to stir up quite a few scandals as well. If it wasn’t him apparently grinding up against another man at the Boujis nightclub, it was skinny-dipping in La Boca, getting kicked out of Peru, or some other wild adventure that would tarnish the image of anybody but Magnus.

Magnus was only two years older than Alec, but he always seemed so much older and more mature. Alec had had a crush on him ever since he was fourteen and seeing Magnus shirtless on some cheesy show the Lightwoods all watched together as a form of family time gave him his gay-awakening (that hadn’t been awkward at all). He liked Magnus, not only for the superficial reasons but because he seemed so brave in the face of all that he’d gone through and always handled every situation he was put in with equal amounts of poise and sass. The possibility that Magnus might be attracted to men as well only made Alec fall further under his spell, but hearing how kind and respectful he had been to Izzy on and off set permanently cemented a place for Magnus Bane in Alec’s heart.

He’d be lying if Alec said he wasn’t slightly holding out for the possibility to maybe meet Magnus in person, but that didn’t change the fact that he would be the only non-famous person in attendance that wasn’t catering or tending the bar. Even if they did meet, Alec doubted that he’d be able to hold a conversation with the man. And if by some miracle he did, Magnus would probably find him weird and boring and be confused as to why Alec was in his apartment in the first place.

Izzy stopped to talk to and introduce Alec to several people as they made their way into the heart of the apartment. Alec, having zero social skills whatsoever, stood awkwardly off to the side as his sister got caught up with co-workers and people she knew from the set. One thing that they all remarked on was how none of them had seen very much of Magnus all night, but that he was somewhere in the crowd.

Finally, having had enough of hovering, Alec excused himself to go get a drink. He needed something to numb the headache he was getting from the lights, heavy base coming from speakers somewhere, and the warmth of so many bodies so close together. Despite the crisp Autumn air outside, everyone here was sweating from dancing and being in such close proximity to each other. Alec had never been more thankful to see a bar in his life once he was able to maneuver his way through the masses. After a few shots, the party started to feel just a touch more bearable.

What could only have been about fifteen to twenty minutes later, during which time Alec had successfully lost track of his sister, a spotlight that must have been on the same rig as the colorful party lights fell on a woman with warm sepia-colored skin and box braids styled into an updo standing on a metal spiral staircase that had been blocked off earlier. To make sure that everyone’s attention was on her, the woman, who couldn’t have been more than a few years older than Alec himself, clinked a utensil of some kind against her drink glass, which must have been the signal for someone to cut the music. With no more distractions, all eyes were on her.

“For those of you here who don’t know me,” the woman announced, beginning to introduce herself, “my name is Catarina Loss. Magnus and I have been best friends ever since he convinced me to ditch the rest of the Teen Choice Awards ceremony to come and see if he could actually surf on one of those surfboards they give you when you win. Let me be clear, I had never met this guy in person before that night, but he had two tacky surfboards and a lot of charm, and who the hell was I to say no to that? And for all of you wondering, yes, you really can surf on one of those things, but neither Magnus or I actually know how to surf.”

Everybody laughed at the story, Alec included. That sounded exactly like something that Magnus would do.

Catarina smiled from ear to ear and continued on. “But enough about me. We’re all here tonight to celebrate the fact that this man we all love and adore, some more than others, is turning twenty-five years old. So, without further ado, I want to invite the birthday boy up here so we can celebrate him properly!”

Noises of excitement and chatter broke out as people moved out of the way to make a path for Magnus to reach Catarina. Peeling himself up off of the leather sofa he’d been lounging on closely surrounded by several people, Magnus closed the distance between himself and his best friend in only a few graceful strides.

As Magnus stood smiling on the staircase next to Catarina, Alec took in every inch of him, his throat suddenly very dry. The first thing about Magnus’ outfit that caught Alec’s eye was the coat. He couldn’t tell if it was made of black fabric with blue designs and silver decals, or bright blue riddled through with silver and black, but either way it was an absolutely gorgeous piece of clothing. Beneath it, Magnus wore a sheer black shirt covered in velvet patters, done up so that it flapped open at the top and bottom, and Alec felt himself slipping into a gay panic as he caught sight of the six-pack it revealed. Finishing off the outfit was a pair of black fitted slacks with a golden chain and golden metal hoop hooked to one of the front belt loops that cut off over a pair of gold-studded black leather boots.

However, as beautiful and breath-taking as all that was, all of it paled in comparison to what Alec saw when he finally got the nerve to look at Magnus’ face. His hair had been done up in its usual voluminous way on top of his head, only tonight Magnus had added streaks of blue the same color as his coat. His lips were tinged a slight red, standing out starkly against his immaculately trimmed goatee. A golden shimmer coated both of his eyelids, topped off with a fine, precise line of eyeliner and what had to be a bit of mascara to make his lashes so long. But what really took the cake was the gold leaf makeup curving around both of Magnus’ eyes from his cheekbones up around the tops of his eyebrows, wide enough that it very nearly reached his hairline.

All of it was too much for Alec to handle, and he quickly downed his martini in an attempt to regain some composure. He’d very nearly done it too until Magnus looked over to where an enormous birthday cake with multiple levels covered in candles was being wheeled over to him. The smile that lit up Magnus’ face was brighter than all of the birthday candles combined and seemed to light up the room and the world itself. If angels or God existed, this would be the light that surrounded them.

Catarina started them all off, and soon the entire apartment erupted into a chorus of “Happy Birthday,” including Alec, who in any other circumstance would not dare to potentially draw any attention to himself. When the cake arrived over to them and the last verse had finished, Magnus closed his eyes, took a moment’s pause, and blew out the candles. Alec clapped along with everyone else, but couldn’t stop himself from wondering what exactly Magnus had wished for. On the surface, it seemed as though Magnus had just about everything: fame, fortune, friends, fans who loved him, and a father who provided him with everything. And anything he didn’t have Magnus shouldn’t have too much trouble finding.

_‘So what_ ,’ Alec thought to himself, ‘ _does someone like him wish for on something as simple and silly as birthday candles like the rest of us?_ ’

He didn’t have too much time to ponder the question before someone started to chant for the birthday boy to give a speech, which was quickly picked up by the crowd around them. Magnus laughed slightly and actually seemed embarrassed for a moment before regaining his composure.

“Ladies and gentlemen, and those of you who identify outside of the gender binary,” Magnus exclaimed looking at everyone gathered around him, “thank you all so much for being here with me tonight. It makes today truly special.” He continued to smile as he lifted his martini glass in the air. ‘“To old friends and new, acquaintances, and everyone else who somehow found their way into this party-” this got a laugh out of everyone except for Alec who suddenly felt as if he’d been caught red-handed and called out in front of every A-lister in existence, “-I want to thank you for being such wonderful party people. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” the guests toasted back, only making Magnus smile more. “Now,” he said, taking a dollop of frosting off of the cake and on to his finger with a mischievous grin, “Let’s party!”

The crowd cheered and the cake was wheeled back towards the kitchen. Alec had just enough time before the spotlight went out to watch Magnus lick the frosting off his finger in a way that, if Alec wasn’t already gay before, would have certainly turned him instantly. Then, all of a sudden, the heat building up inside of him was replaced with an icy chill as Alec realized that he and Magnus were making direct eye contact. Alec didn’t even have time to blink before the light went back out and the loft was plunged into near-total darkness once more.

Holding back the mix of emotions running through him all at once, Alec pushed his way back towards the bar to get a refill. He really needed to slow down, seeing as though he’d only been there for half an hour max and was already far from sober, but Alec didn’t want to head towards the kitchen to get some water and a slice of cake just yet. That was what everyone else had in mind at that moment, and he couldn’t handle that many people around him all at once.

So instead, Alec got himself another martini and glued himself to the wall. He idly wondered where Izzy had gone, dreading the fact that he would inevitably have to go looking for her, so he pulled his phone out of his pocket and shot her a text message. Alec checked it repeatedly over the course of the next few minutes, but it didn’t appear that Izzy would be responding any time soon. That also meant that they wouldn’t be leaving any time soon either.

Groaning, Alec leaned back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. This was going to be a long night.

***

  
  


It took another twenty minutes or so before the crowd around the kitchen thinned out enough for Alec to feel comfortable venturing over. He grabbed a large glass of some much-needed water and a misshapen slice of leftover cake. Alec now also had enough room to make some adjustments to his wardrobe without risking hitting someone in the face as he took off his jacket and undid the top few buttons of his shirt before rolling up his sleeves until they were up over his elbows. Things were still a bit too hot for Alec’s liking, but he couldn’t do much more without stripping, an idea he was very much not comfortable with.

Taking his cake with, Alec found another place to stand off to the side and observe the party going on around him. It was difficult given the lighting situation, but he tried to place the names and faces of those he saw, seeing if he recognized them or not. As his gaze fell on two women having a conversation he could have sworn looked a hell of a lot like Beyonce and Lady Gaga, Alec was struck once more by the feeling that he was in way over his head here and didn’t belong with these people. Maybe one day, if his dream of screenwriting and making his own short films panned out, but not now. Not when he was basically leeching off of his sister’s success and good fortune.

Just over another hour passed before Alec finally heard back from Izzy. He couldn’t quite make out what she had written, a clear indicator that she was drunk as hell, but her use of the puking emoji gave Alec some idea as to where she might be. A while ago, all those drinks had finally caught up to him and he had needed to seek out the bathroom. He headed back there now, only to see that the stretch of hallway in front of it was suspiciously empty. Drawing closer, Alec quickly saw why. Someone—presumably Izzy—had gotten sick on the wall, likely while waiting in line for the restroom. He couldn’t fault everyone for bailing, as the vomit stunk to high heaven, but after Izzy caught the stomach flu in sixth grade (which of course happened while their parents were away) and Alec spent a week taking care of her and Jace who would end up sympathy puking every time Iz got sick, this was nothing.

“Izzy?” Alec called out as he knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you in there?”

“Yeah,” Izzy’s moaned out in response. Alec relaxed just a fraction. At least she had made it to the toilet eventually.

“Is everything okay? Do you need me to come in?”

“No, stay there. It’s crowded enough without a baby giant being in here with us.”

That gave Alec pause. “Izzy, who else is with you?” Was it a guy? Was Alec going to have to fight some straight guy who only ever got cast in action movies for trying something with his sister? Again? And at Magnus Bane’s birthday party?

“Hi,” groaned a voice that sounded like it belonged to another girl. Alec relaxed only for a second before wondering if he was still going to need to go full protective-big-brother-mode on this person.

“I can hear your thoughts from here, Alec,” Izzy called over the sound of someone getting sick. “It’s Clary, so no need to be a hero. We just had a bit too much to drink and decided it was best if both of us came in here so we could take turns holding each other’s hair back.” 

Alec had to hand it to her, even sloppy drunk his sister and possible future sister-in-law (depending on which of his siblings proposed to her first) had been able to do some sound decision making. “Okay, just let me know if you two need anything. I’m going to be right out here. He rested his forehead against the door and closed his eyes. Everything was going to be fine. The girls would let it all out, he’d order all of them an Uber back to Izzy’s place, and in the morning he’d help them nurse the hangover.

“Is everything alright?” a male voice asked from behind Alec. Probably some guy needing to take a leak.

“Yeah,” Alec sighed, not ready to turn and face this person quite yet. “It’s my sister and her friend. They had a bit too much to drink is all. Sorry, man.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

Having finally summoned the will to turn and face this guy, Alec felt the words of dismissal die on his lips. There, standing maybe two feet away from him, was Magnus Fucking Bane. Alec stared wide-eyed, looking like a fish as he fought to say something, anything, for what had to be an uncomfortably long stretch of time. Thank god Magnus seemed to have the patience of a saint as he looked back at Alec with concern in his eyes—for the poor drunk girls or the weird Fishman in front of him, Alec couldn’t tell.

When words finally did come back to him, the first thing Alec could think to blurt out was “Oh fuck, your wall!” This seemed to genuinely take Magnus aback and the man jumped slightly in surprise.

“My wall?” Magnus asked, before looking to the left of the bathroom door. “Ohhh,” he said when he realized what Alec meant.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Alec apologized in a slightly panicked voice. “If you show me where stuff is, I promise to clean it up. I swear my sister didn’t puke on your wall on purpose!”

“Clary puked on the wall, not me,” Izzy shot back from behind the bathroom door. “Is that Magnus? Tell him I’m really, really sorry and we didn’t mean to ruin his party.”

Magnus was standing close enough to hear everything, so Alec didn’t need to repeat what she’d said. “Please don’t be mad,” Alec pleaded with him. “Clary is just small and gets drunk really easily, and Izzy doesn’t usually drink this much either. I think she was just excited to be here. I mean, I know she was. She adores you and getting to work with you was a dream come true for her. Please don’t be mad.” Alec realized that he was rambling but he couldn’t help it. It would crush Izzy if Magnus started to hate her. And it would crush Alec too, given the emotional investment he’d had in Magnus for almost half of his life.

Unable to read what Magnus’ face was doing, Alec held his breath and waited for a response. It came when Magnus responded by asking, “You’re talking about Miss Isabelle Lightwood, right?” to which Alec could only nod in reply. Then, the corners of Magnus’ mouth turned up into a small smile.

“Isabelle, don’t you worry about it. Everything is fine,” Magnus said, loud enough so she could hear him from behind the door. “There is some Pepto-Bismol in the medicine cabinet behind the mirror over the sink. You and your friend take some while your brother and I get this mess cleaned up, alright?” He phrased it like a question, but the manner in which he said it left no room for arguments. “Come now,” Magnus added, speaking to Alec directly. “Follow me, and we will get this all taken care of in no time.” He made a ‘come hither’ motion and Alec’s feet took off walking before his brain had time to catch up. 

Showing him to the cleaning supplies underneath the sink, Magnus disappeared for just long enough that Alec started to wonder if he’d been ditched, only to return a moment later, sans rings, beautiful coat, and the accessories that had been hooked to his belt loop. “Sorry,” he apologized, “I thought they would just get in the way.” His eyes flicked down to where Alec had tied his jacket around his waist and back up again. “Do you want me to take that?” Magnus asked, pointing. “I can go put it with my things and then meet you back over by the bathroom. How does that sound?”

“Uh, yeah, that works,” Alec replied, untying the sleeves. “Thanks.” Magnus smiled in response and headed back towards what must have been his bedroom, fluidly maneuvering his way through the moving bodies in front of him with a grace that seemed inhuman. Picking up the bucket of warm soapy water, Alec attempted to make it back to the bathroom without dumping the entire thing and causing Magnus’ home even more damage.

Dropping both of the sponges into the bucket, Alec set about scrubbing the vile bile and alcohol from the wall. Not too much time had passed before Magnus rejoined him with towels in his arms. “I realized we forgot these.”

Between the two of them, cleanup didn’t take too long. “I appreciate the help,” Alec piped up once they’d finished. He hadn’t known how to make small talk up until then. Vomit wasn’t exactly a good conversation starter. 

“You are very welcome, Mr. Lightwood,” Magnus replied. “Although I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced.” He smiled and Alec felt butterflies all the way up to his heart. “I’m Magnus Bane. I’d shake your hand, but I don’t think you really want me to.”

Magnus smiled a little wider at the end and Alec let out a genuine laugh. “No, I suppose not. I’m Alec. It’s nice to finally meet you.” The smile on Alec’s face was soft and genuine as he said it but nerves still ran amok inside of him right alongside the butterflies. 

A look came over Magnus’ face, not unlike the one he had worn earlier before scooping up that frosting with his finger, which made Alec’s stomach start to do flips. “Now I could have sworn that Isabelle told me that she had a brother named Alexander. ‘Alec’ wouldn’t happen to be short for it, would it?” 

His voice was teasing, almost flirtatious. Alec quickly shoved that thought aside. Magnus wouldn’t flirt with him of all people. But something inside of him told Alec to give it right back to him.

“Well,” Alec hummed, squeezing the last bit of water out of his sponge, “I’m pretty certain Izzy would have called me Alec if she told you about me. If she used my full name at all, it would have definitely been to tell you that nobody actually calls me 'Alexander,' not even our parents. Unless they were yelling at me, of course.”

“What a pity,” Magnus mused. He had a soft expression that made Alec feel special somehow. Special because it felt like an honor to be on the receiving end of it, but also to have caused it in the first place. “I think that Alexander is a beautiful name, a beauty quite befitting of the person it was given to.”

Alec made a sort of choking sound and felt the color rise to his cheeks. Had Magnus really just called him beautiful? “You-you can call me it if you like,” Alec stuttered out. “I mean, uh, thanks—thank you.”

The fondness in his eyes didn’t escape Alec’s notice as Magnus picked up the bucket and made his way back to the kitchen to take care of it. By the time Alec reached him, he’d already dumped the water down the drain and was spraying the sink with bleach cleaner. After they both washed their hands they went back to the bathroom once more.

Knocking a few times, Alec called out to check on the girls once more. “Hey Iz, you two still ok in there?” After only receiving a muffled, unintelligible reply, Alec opened the door to find the two girls slumped together, out cold. Always one to jump to the worst-case scenario, Alec rushed over to make sure that they were both still breathing, letting out an audible sigh of relief when he discovered they were just sleeping it off.

“Maybe it would be for the best if we put them up in my guest room for the night,” Magnus suggested, having come to stand over Alec’s crouching figure. “I’m not sure if getting them home like this is a feasible option.”

“You really don’t have to,” Alec insisted, although Magnus did make a very good point. “We’ve caused you more than enough trouble already. I’m so sorry if we’ve ruined your birthday. I promise to make it up to you somehow.”

“You can make it up to me by ensuring that people I care deeply about are safe and well taken care of. And the best way to do that is for you all to stay here tonight,” Magnus stated matter-of-factly. “I consider your sister to be a dear friend of mine, and it was no coincidence that Clary was here tonight either. I’ve known her since she was just starting out with watercolors. So please, Alexander, it would burden me much less to have them under my own roof where I know they are in good hands than it would to be left wondering if you were able to get them in and out of some stranger’s Uber and then to whoever’s place you’re staying at all on your own.”

There was no use in pushing the point any further. Magnus had made up his mind, and Alec couldn’t come up with any valid counterarguments, so that was that. “Fine,” Alec conceded, a little anxious but not too upset with having lost. “I’ll carry Izzy if you get Clary. And you have to show me where we’re going, deal?”

“Deal,” Magnus replied with a self-satisfied grin. “Lucky for us, it’s only a couple of doors down from here. 

After figuring out how to maneuver the girls out of the bathroom, Alec followed Magnus to a cozy room with a queen-sized bed that's bedding matched the dark blue paint on the wall. The pillowcases and comforter all had white embroidery that stood out in stark contrast. 

The next trick was figuring out how to get the girls’ shoes off and get them tucked into bed. With some trial error, they managed to succeed in their mission and stepped back out of the room to rejoin everyone else. However, neither of them actually did.

“You know,” Magnus started, staring out wistfully at his guests from the side hallway, “I don’t feel much like partying anymore tonight. Do you, Alexander?”

Alec shook his head no. It was going to take him a while to get used to Magnus using his full name. Hell, it was going to take him a lifetime to get over this night. “To be honest, I’m not really one for parties. Or large gatherings of people anywhere. Or people in general.” 

That got a loud laugh out of Magnus. “Well alright then. Give me a couple of minutes to work some magic.”

***

The fall night air was crisp, bordering on freezing without his jacket on, but Alec didn’t mind it too much. Out on the balcony, he had a breathtaking view of the city and could watch the many guests leaving in their various modes of transportation. It had been nothing short of a miracle that Magnus had ended the party and gotten everyone to leave so fast, leaving only himself, Alec, the girls, and Catarina there to occupy the apartment. Not wanting to intrude on a private moment between friends, Alec had gone to stand outside to wait while they said their goodbyes.

Rubbing his hands together to warm them up, Alec looked up at the sky, wishing sadly that the stars weren’t completely obscured with smog. If he closed his eyes, Alec could imagine he was in another place at a different time, spread out on a blanket on the sand with an astronomy book and flashlight. The two of them had been identifying and writing down the names of the constellations they saw. They had started to do this every time their family went to stay in their Hampton beach house. Alec had wanted to prove that all stars do move, so technically you should be able to wish on any one of them. He might have skipped over the part where it was actually the earth moving, not the stars themselves.

Opening his eyes, Alec blinked back a few tears and blew out a stream of air in front of him. Just as he’d suspected, it was cold enough outside that he could see his breath. He chuckled sadly and blew out a few more streams of air. 

Once upon a time, this had been the way he comforted his baby brother Max. He was still just a little kid and Max couldn’t have been more than three years old. It was Thanksgiving morning and the Lightwoods had all woken up early to get decent spots to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. All of the kids had been irritable because of the early hour and the cold outside, but Max had been a nightmare. No matter what their mother did, she couldn’t get him to stop crying, but leaving and going home wasn’t an option; their father had taken their primo spots as a point of pride and wasn’t about to give them up. So Max cried on and on, their mother struggled to keep his nose from dripping and getting chapped, and strangers threw them dirty looks. Then, Alec had gotten an idea.

“Hey, Max!” he’d said in an enthusiastic tone of voice, hoping it would work in getting the toddler’s attention. It had, and Alec went on, smiling at his brother. “Wanna see me be a dragon?” Max had stared at him in confusion until Alec let out a huge puff of air. Seeing his big brother “blow smoke” set him off in a fit of giggles and Max demanded that Alec do more.

As they got older, “playing dragons” became their thing once the weather got colder. It became a way to pass the time whenever they were outside for an extended period of time: waiting in line, getting their photos taken in front of the Rockefeller Christmas Tree for the Lightwood’s annual Christmas cards, walking home from school—

Alec had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard Magnus come join him. He also hadn’t realized that he had started crying. “Alexander?” Magnus prompted, his voice breaking through to Alec. “Are you alright?” All Alec could do was stare at him and blink. “Come here,” Magnus insisted and pulled him in for a hug. Alec squeezed out a few more tears as he took the support offered to him. 

Being in Magnus’ arms made Alec feel oddly at ease. The feeling of his solid build underneath Alec’s own arms had an unexpected grounding effect on him, and he was reluctant to let go when the time came and Magnus began to pull away. 

“Thanks for that,” Alec said in a low, soft voice, using his sleeve to dry. Magnus nodded but seemed hesitant about saying or doing whatever he was planning to next. “What is it?” Alec asked, his self-consciousness and fear of vulnerability flaring up. Magnus surprised Alec with what he said next:

“Would you care for a cup of tea, Alexander?”

Having been completely prepared for Magnus to treat him like some kind of crazy person, this was the last thing Alec expected. “Uh,” he hesitated, not quite sure about this change of events, before answering “Sure.”

Taking Alec by the hand and surprising the hell out of him, Magnus led him back to the kitchen. “Stay here,” he instructed once they reached the island. “Feel free to grab some leftover cake.”

The birthday cake was in even more of a rough state than it had been in earlier, but Alec took a piece anyway. He watched as Magnus cleared off the gas stove and set a tea kettle on to boil. Leaving it to let physics take its course, Magnus walked over to grab an equally rough-looking piece of cake and leaned against the counter facing opposite of Alec to dig in.

“Do you know this only the second piece of cake I’ve gotten to have tonight?” Magnus asked, further confusing Alec as to what was happening. “I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining, seeing as I’m sure some people didn’t get any, but still.” He made gestures with his hand holding the fork as he spoke, and Alec got a bit nervous that the bit of cake on the end of it was going to go flying off and hit him in the face or ruin Magnus’ stunning getup.

Magnus took a moment to regard Alec as if he were making up his mind about something. Alec shifted uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze. After a few seconds, he spoke again.

“No matter how many years go by, I still can’t help wanting to cry whenever I see a dragonfly.” Alec’s confusion was now at a level ten, and it must have shown. “They remind me of my mother,” Magnus clarified with a sad smile on his face. “She had this red gemstone pendant shaped like one. It had been a farewell gift from her sister before my mom immigrated to America. She wore it every day without fail. Now, every time I see a dragonfly I think of her and how she’s still wearing that necklace even now.” He looked down at his cake, still mostly untouched, and set it aside. “I guess what I’m trying to say, Alexander, is that I understand.”

Things got very quiet between them until the steam from the tea kettle broke the silence. Magnus pushed off from the counter to prepare their tea while Alec looked down at his hands, fiddling anxiously. A moment later Magnus set down a mug and took a seat next to Alec. “It’s chamomile, I hope that’s alright.”

Alec nodded, but couldn’t quite settle down. “Did Izzy tell you?” he finally asked, slowly looking up.

Magnus blew on his tea to cool it down a little before place his mug back down on the island. “Yes and no. She told me she had a little brother named Max, but that there was an accident. She didn’t go into detail, and I didn’t push.”

Nodding again, mostly to himself, Alec reached forward to grab his tea and bring it in close, wanting to absorb its heat. A part of him really, really wanted to talk to Magnus. To let it all out. But Alec had never let anyone in before and the thought terrified him. Not to mention this was a lot to unload on someone he had just met. 

Then again, he hadn’t needed to say anything for Magnus to see right through him. To know exactly what was on his mind. It takes one to know one, and Magnus himself had said that he understood. If Alec was ever going to talk to anyone at any time, this was it.

As if the universe itself was giving him one final nudge, Alec felt Magnus’ hand come to rest on top of his own and give it a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I am willing to listen if you do.”

Making up his mind once and for all, Alec took a deep breath and let it all out. 

“It happened in my junior year of high school. I was supposed to walk home from school with him, but I got caught up with something stupid. I knew beforehand that I was going to be a bit late, so we agreed to meet up at a coffee shop a few blocks away from the school. I thought ‘he’s in seventh grade, it’s only three and a half blocks away, and he has his cellphone and some cash on hand.’ Max had even made that same trip before to meet up with his friend. I really, really thought that he’d be okay, Magnus.”

Tears started to slip down his face and Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand just a little bit tighter. Alec turned his hand over so that it was facing palm up and he could hold Magnus’ hand back, knowing that he would be needing it. 

Giving Magnus’ hand one tight squeeze, Alec tried to steel himself enough to finish the story.

“That dumb fucking thing took longer than I had thought it would, so when I finally did leave the school I called Max to let him know that I was on my way. I knew that something was wrong when it rang all the way through and he didn’t pick up. I told myself maybe he was just in the bathroom and couldn’t answer. So I tried again a few minutes later and got the same thing. I was just about to try again when I noticed the crowd and the flashing lights. I had heard the sirens and car horns back at the school, but this is New York. I never thought-” His voice broke as all the emotions from that day came rushing back to him.

“Some sixteen-year-old girl had been paying more attention to her phone than the road and she hit him. And the way she jerked her car after the impact sent her into the side of a taxi cab. There ended up being this whole mess of cars that jacked up the entire street after that. I don’t remember how many people got sent to the hospital that day, but Max was the only one who died.”

What came next was the part that he really needed Magnus’ help getting through.

“I saw him there, Magnus. I knew it was him without having needed to see his face. His book bag...I’d know it anywhere. How many kids his age have a backpack from the planetarium? I saw that bag and I ran straight through the crowd of people on the sidewalk, not even stopping at the barricade or when the police tried to hold me back. I remember just screaming and screaming Max’s name and when they finally let me go I ran over to him and just held him to me. I knew he was dead the second I saw him lying on the ground, but I didn’t want to believe it.”

Things were quiet once more as if the world had just fallen away. The only thing Alec was aware of was the now lukewarm cup of tea in front of him, still warming his free hand, the sound of his own heart racing in his ears, and Magnus’ fingers interlocked with his, keeping him from drifting away completely. 

“Something inside me broke that day,” Alec stated in a quiet voice. “Something I’m not sure how to fix. The whole thing was all my fault, and I know that my parents blame me for it as much as I blame myself. It’s not something I know how to talk about with anyone, so I just started to pull away from people entirely. It’s lonely and I hate it, but the alternative isn’t any better either.”

“The alternative being?” Magnus prodded, speaking for the first time since Alec started to tell him his story.

“The alternative being me being surrounded by people I can’t connect with pretending that I’m fine and getting pitying or judgemental looks from anyone I tell all of this to.”

The silence returned once Alec finished. Magnus appeared lost in thought, and Alec didn’t know what more he could say. If it weren’t for Magnus’ thumb rubbing circles into the back of his hand, Alec would be worried about Magnus getting up and running away from him, seeing him as the same monster Alec believe himself to be. Alec had just taken his first sip of tea when Magnus began to speak again.

“First of all, Max’s death is not on you. You’re not the one who hit him. Secondly, I’m going to tell you something only a select handful few people know, one of whom is dead now. I was the one who found my mother’s body after she had done what she did. It was late in the morning and I knew that she should have been up already, so I went to wake her up. I thought that she was still asleep right up until the moment I saw all of the blood. Even then I climbed into her bed and kept trying. I stayed there with her for another hour until my stepfather came home from working the night shift and found us.”

Now it was Alec’s turn to be the one doing the comforting. He squeezed Magnus’ hand reassuringly, which earned him a small appreciative smile.

“My life sort of erupted after that. I’d barely had time to process it all and grieve her loss before a father I had never met swooped in and up-rooted me from my home and completely changed everything that I had ever known.” Magnus let out a deep sigh, one that spoke of years of weariness. 

“I think you’re right about something breaking inside you that day your brother died. I know that seeing my mom, plus so much of what came after, certainly broke a part of me as well. Over the years, it feels like little fissures have formed, branching off from that initial break, and they creep into every little aspect of my life. Some of them I know how to stop from getting worse, while others I’m working to repair in their entirety. But sometimes it feels like I can’t keep up with all of the new cracks, and even those are starting to spider-web their reach out further and further.”

“I never would have guessed that,” Alec said truthfully. By putting him up on this pedestal in his mind, Alec had completely neglected to consider that Magnus was a human too, just like him. He had his own troubles and doubts and insecurities like everybody else. It shouldn’t have been as shocking of a revelation as it was, but it did add a whole new layer of humanity to Magnus, and Alec actually found himself liking Magnus even more because of it. All be it this time, it was on an entirely different level.

“Well, I am an actor,” Magnus joked, obviously trying to lighten the mood. Alec smiled despite himself and shook his head. Neither seemed to notice that they were both still holding hands.

“Thank you for all of this; I’m not really good at communicating with others, but I like talking to you,” Alec admitted. “Something about you just made it all a whole lot easier to say.”

“Thank you for trusting me, Alexander. I’m happy that I could help. And, if I’m being honest, I quite like talking with you as well.”

A faint blush dusted Alec’s cheeks and it felt like his heart had been kickstarted back to life. “Do you think we could maybe keep talking for a while?” he asked tentatively. “It doesn’t have to be about such heavy stuff like this, but it can be too if you want. I really don’t care what we talk about, I just don’t want to stop quite yet.”

Magnus gave him a half-smile and a playful wink. “In that case, I’d better make us something with a little more caffeine in it.”

***

The two of them talked for what must have been hours, but none of it felt forced and conversation flowed freely. Alec told Magnus about film school and his film aspirations behind the camera. Magnus told him about upcoming projects he had a few months down the line and how he was taking a break until then.

At some point, the two had moved from the kitchen onto the couch in the living room, and slowly, almost subconsciously, shifted their positions increasingly closer together. Alec became hyper-aware of their proximity to one another as their knees pressed together, but neither he nor Magnus made any attempt to move away.

A feeling like static electricity Alec didn’t quite understand seemed to be building between them, and it made him a bit nervous. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” he asked, hoping that maybe whatever it was would pass eventually.

“No,” Magnus answered. “Does it really matter though? Unless you have to be somewhere tomorrow. You don’t, do you?” He sounded nervous like he was almost afraid to hear Alec’s answer.

“Uh, no, thankfully not,” Alec reassured him, “I just have some homework to get done is all.”

Relief flooded Magnus’ features and a tension in his shoulders Alec hadn’t noticed at first eased considerably. “Oh good. Good. So you don’t have to leave. That’s...that’s good.”

Alec chuckled nervously. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t want me to go.”

“I don’t!” Magnus burst out, seeming to surprise himself just as much as he said it. “I mean,” he quickly added, “not right away at least. Maybe you could, I don’t know, stick around for breakfast? Lunch, maybe?”

There was nothing Alec wanted more. He and Magnus had a genuine connection, and he wanted to spend as much time around him and the feeling of ease that he got from being around him. “Yeah, that sounds nice,” he said with a smile. “I’m sure the girls will love it too.”

Magnus’ face faltered for a second. “Oh yeah, I’m sure they will.”

Not sure about the way in which he said it, Alec tentatively stated, “I’m sensing a ‘but’ here.”

For the first time that night, it was Magnus who struggled to push past anxiety. Maybe it was just because Alec knew the signs to look for, but he could tell right away by the way Magnus started to bounce his leg slightly and fidget with his hands. “Well, you know I adore them, and I’d love it if they stayed for breakfast, but what if it was just you and me for lunch?”

“Like, just the two of us?” Alec asked, cursing himself for how dumb he sounded saying it.

“If you’d like,” Magnus proposed. “We don’t have to if you don’t wanna.”

“No, no, I do,” Alec quickly reassured him, “It’s just...you’re Magnus freakin Bane and you want to voluntarily spend even more time alone with _me_. I’m just...surprised is all.”

Magnus regarded him with a quizzical look as he studied Alec’s face. Finding whatever answer he’d been searching for, he let out a sigh. “You really have no clue just how incredible you really are, do you?”

Not knowing what to do with that, Alec blushed and scratched the back of his neck. “Can I tell you something else?” he asked, wanting to change the topic before he could overthink things. “Something kind of weird?”

It took Magnus a moment to adjust to the abrupt shift, but he went with it, grinning as he replied, “Stay away from kinks and asking for a vial of my blood or a lock of my hair and you’re golden.”

Alec wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Ew, people really ask you for those kinds of things?”

“You’d be surprised,” Magnus chuckled. “Anyway, you were saying.”

“It’s kind of embarrassing,” Alec said with some nervous laughter. “I don’t really know why I feel the need to bring it up.” He didn’t, but it seemed easier to make an ass out of himself than deal with the fact that Magnus had kinda sorta asked him on a date.

“Darling, these walls are a shame-free paradise” Magnus assured him. “Just let it out.”

“Well...Ugh please don’t laugh.” Alec shook his head. “You are kinda the guy who made me realize I was gay.”

“What? Wait, really?” Magnus asked, looking at him wide-eyed and amused.

Alec groaned. “It’s embarrassing, I know. I get it if you feel the need to kick me out and slap a restraining order on me.”

“No, no, no, I’m not weirded out,” Magnus reassured him quickly. “You’ve got me curious now. How old were you? What role was it? Something sexy, obviously.”

“Oh my god, really?” Alec groaned. He’d really set himself up here, but he trusted Magnus not to laugh at him too much. “Well, I was fourteen and, um, do you remember that cheesy teen lifeguard show you were on?”

“No!” Magnus gasped, leaning in towards Alec as if he’d just revealed some great scandal. 

“Yes,” Alec reaffirmed. “First episode. We had just gotten Max down to bed and me, Izzy, Jace, and our mom sat down to watch it on TV. Needless to say, the sight of all that,” Alec gestured to Magnus’ toned chest muscles beneath the sheer fabric of his shirt, “really made me learn some things about myself.” He smiled at the thought for a moment before his face fell. “Yours was my favorite character, but I kinda had a love-hate relationship with him.”

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked, feeling the weight of the conversation begin to shift to something more serious.

“Well, I didn’t know what it meant to be gay back then. ‘Gay’ was kinda the catch-all term for insults, so I knew that it was bad, but I didn’t know it meant you liked other boys. And then I did, and I learned I was the bad thing all along.” Alec stared into space for a few moments as memories came back of all the confusion and sadness he felt for the next few years of his life. “I was upset with you for like a year, as misplaced as that was,” he admitted.

“What made you stop?” Magnus inquired. “Assuming, that is, that you don’t still hate me for causing you to have an existential crisis.”

“No, I don’t hate you,” Alec said in a soft voice, squeezing Magnus’ hand in reassurance. “You’re actually—god, I’m really determined to embarrass myself in front of you tonight, aren’t I?” He held his face in his hands and shook his head. When his hands fell away, Alec’s face was bright red. “You know how everyone has a celebrity crush? Well...you know…I’m sorry if that’s weird.”

“Alexander, I’m flattered,” Magnus said in a light-hearted tone. “Don’t be embarrassed. Shame free walls, remember? But you still didn’t answer my question. What made you stop?”

The blush faded from Alec’s cheeks and he began bouncing his leg anxiously. “Well, for one thing, I realized I was being stupid and you were too pretty to hate, but it wasn’t until like two years later that I really had a change of heart. I know it probably isn’t something you like or want to talk about, ‘cus all of this sexuality shit is super personal, but, do you remember that whole Imasu scandal?”

Magnus grew solemn and the smile fell from his face. “Ah yes, one of my least favorite out of the bunch. What about it?”

“I, uh, I guess it made me change the way I thought about things,” Alec explained. “It made me feel, I don’t know, less alone? Less wrong for liking other guys? And I know the awful, awful things people said about you, but you not letting it get to you or break you down, that gave me hope.”

For the first time in hours, there was silence between them. Alec watched Magnus tensely, trying to read him and figure out what exactly he’d said to upset him and how he could make it better. Eventually, Magnus let out a sad “Oh, Alexander, how I wish that were the case,” in a hushed voice.

“What do you mean?” Alec asked, genuinely caring about what Magnus had to say.

Magnus took Alec’s hand again, intertwining their fingers once more. “Ever since my father showed up and brought me into this world, my private life has very rarely ever stayed private. And yet, there are things that go on behind the scenes that nobody knows about. That nobody sees.” His face and voice were so sad, and Alec felt his heart start to break for him.

“When those photos got out, I had a complete breakdown. I think I’d have been hospitalized for it if my father and our PR team didn’t want to bring any more attention to us. I had an inkling for a few years that I liked guys as well as girls, but I’d never really done anything about it. And then Imasu happened. I should have known better than to fall for a Peruvian congressman’s son, but my heart got the better of me. And I was happy, for a time. Right up until everything fell apart.” When Magnus’ voice cracked as he said this, Alec felt a physical pain rip across his chest. 

“I was outed to the entire world, and the decision that should have been mine to make was taken away from me. I was so afraid of what people would think, all the job opportunities I’d be denied, and what my father would do. So, I broke up with Imasu, was told by his father never to return to Peru, and I got back together with my ex-girlfriend and never gave clarity to anyone about it. Now, I’m super careful about dating anyone, man or woman, and I don’t really have relationships anymore. Usually not more than a few nights together at least. It’s an incredibly lonely situation, Alexander. And I...I find myself wishing more often than not that I still had my mother to talk to. She was a troubled woman with her own issues, but I could always tell her anything. I miss her. So much.”

Helpless to do anything more, Alec pulled Magnus in for a hug, remembering how grateful he’d been when Magnus had done the same for him earlier. Magnus didn’t fight it and instead let his head come to rest against Alec’s shoulder.

“Is that what you wished for tonight?” Alec whispered, not quite realizing he’d said the words out loud.

Magnus pulled back to look at him. “Pardon me?”

“When you blew out the candles,” Alec stammered, trying to recover. “Did you wish for your mom?”

The sadness on Magnus’ face began to slowly melt away and a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. “Sort of. I wished for her or the universe or whatever higher power is in charge to send me someone who would understand, who would get me. And then I saw you.” 

His eyes were so hopeful as he said it that Alec didn’t quite know what to do. Everything inside of him ached for all that Magnus had been through in his short life. He wanted to wrap Magnus in his arms and keep him safe from a world that didn’t deserve him. He wanted to take away all of the hurt in that beautiful heart of Magnus' and replace it with joy and happiness and love. He wanted...

“Magnus,” Alec said in a soft whisper. “Can I…?”

“Can you what?” Magnus asked equally as soft.

“Just, um, just stop me if you don’t want to,” Alec said in response before closing his eyes and tentatively pressed his lips to Magnus’. 

He kissed him so softly, ready for Magnus to push him away at any second, but hoping with all his heart that he wouldn’t. Alec liked treating Magnus as preciously and delicately as he deserved to be, despite a desire deep in the pit of his stomach to kiss him harder, kiss him breathless.

Magnus made the decision for him. Hands slid up Alec’s back, coming to rest one on the back of his neck and the other tangled into his hair. Magnus used this to pull Alec in closer so that their lips and faces were pressed more firmly together.

Kissing Magnus Bane was the most incredible feeling Alec had ever experienced. His blood was pounding in his ears and his heart felt as though it was floating above the both of them, lighter than it had felt in years.

Next thing he knew, Alec was falling forward as Magnus pulled him down with him. For a moment, Alec pulled back just to look down at where Magnus now laid underneath him, bracketed on both sides by Alec’s arms. They locked eyes and held each other’s gaze for a moment that felt more like an eternity. It was broken when Alec dove back in for another kiss, lost in that strange feeling of freedom, grounded only by the feeling of Magnus’ hands running along his back. 

His shirt rode up a little due to their current position, which afforded Magnus the opportunity to slip his hands up underneath it. An added feeling of fire was joined to the mix as Alec felt Magnus’ skin against his. Shock at the sudden sensation caused Alec to let out a gasp. Magnus took this as an opportunity to test out adding some tongue into the mix, and Alec was only too happy to oblige.

Feeling practically drunk on Magnus’ tongue, Alec was unaware of the descent of Magnus’s hands from his back until they reached their destination. As Magnus squeezed his ass, Alec let out a cross between a whimper and a moan, serving as encouragement for Magnus to do it again.

At this point, Alec’s mind had started to go blissfully hazy in a way he’d never felt before. High on his own endorphins and drunk off of everything Magnus was giving him, he was caught completely off-guard as Magnus somehow manage to flip them over so that their positions were switched.

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” Alec asked in a breathless voice as he looked up at Magnus’ face. In response, Magnus smiled down at him softly and brushed the hair that had fallen across his forehead out of Alec’s face. “Not in the way you mean it.” Alec’s heart cracked right open at this, and he pulled Magnus back down on top of him, not wanting there to be an inch of space between them.

As they tend to do, things only progressed from there. Magnus’ thigh found its way between Alec’s, and Alec had his ankle hooked around Magnus’ calf, pinning him against him. In this position, as worked up as they both were, it was only natural that they’d end up rubbing against each other. Magnus let out a hiss at the same time a low moan escaped Alec’s lips. They shared a look before testing it out again with much the same result, save for Magnus whining this time instead. They did it again and again, getting slightly faster each time.

Alec threw his head back as his body arched off the couch, and Magnus took this as an open invitation to start kissing and nipping at his neck. When Alec could open his eyes again, he stared up at the ceiling and had the conscious thought of ‘ _Is this really happening?’_ followed by thoughts of how far they were going to take it tonight. 

It wasn’t like it would be Alec’s first time; he’d been with a couple of different guys since starting college. But it hadn’t ever really been serious between them. They were people Alec had tried to date but couldn’t bring himself to open up to in any meaningful way. Mostly, he just went ahead and slept with them without really getting to know them first because he didn’t know what else to do. He could barely hold a conversation with them that didn’t have to do with school or movies. So, needless to say, these relationships, if you could even call them that, didn’t go on more than a few weeks at most. And each one left a guilt-stricken Alec feeling broken and dirty and more alone than he ever felt when it was just him by himself. 

An icy chill ran over Alec, dousing the heat of desire he’d felt up until that point. “Magnus,” he groaned, pushing slightly against the other man’s chest to get him away. “Magnus, stop.”

Magnus did just that and pulled back so that he was sitting on his heels. His hair was a mess and is breath escaped in hard little puffs from his kiss-swollen lips. Alec could see that Magnus’ pupils were still dilated wide as he watched Alec with expectant patience. 

“Sorry,” Alec apologized in a hoarse voice.

“Don’t be,” Magnus reassured him, his breathing evening out. “Consent goes both ways.”

Some of the worry over upsetting Magnus that had been building up inside Alec’s chest relented and he pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Is it okay if...” he ventured, trailing off to swallow hard in an attempt to bring back some moisture to his dry throat. “Can we maybe not do this tonight? I just don’t…”

“Want it to be awkward?” Magnus ventured, giving him a sympathetic half-smile. 

Alec shook his head dismissing the idea. “Want it to be a one night stand.” He reached forward to take hold of one of Magnus’s hands before allowing himself to continue. “I know we just met tonight and maybe it’s too soon to ask, but I don’t want this, whatever we have going here, to only last for tonight or to just be about sex. I know that’s a lot to ask of you, especially after everything we talked about tonight, but would you maybe consider being in a relationship with me?” He searched Magnus’ face earnestly, hoping that maybe, somehow, Magnus wanted this too. “I get that I’m a lot and have a lot of baggage. I won’t blame you or be upset if you say no.”

“Hey,” Magnus said softly with a gentle smile. He used his free hand to cup Alec’s face delicately and rubbed his thumb back and forth across Alec’s cheekbone. “I like that you’re broken and lonely like me. No one else I’ve met gets me quite like you. You’re exactly what I wished for when I blew out those candles. And no, being together isn’t going to be easy by any means, but I’m all for effort if you are.”

A smile crept to Alec’s face and a slight blush colored his cheeks. He nodded his head enthusiastically, looking at Magnus’ with hope in his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the party, Magnus and Alec take their first steps as a new couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned in to one long chapter of fluff and I can't say that I'm upset about it. I personally love these two saps.
> 
> Live tweet using #coveswena if that's your jam :)

Alec had started off asleep on the couch but somehow ended up in Magnus’ bed anyway. They hadn’t fooled around anymore and only ended up cuddling, but they’d definitely been playing with fire. Especially when Magnus had insisted on Alec sleeping in his boxers because no way was he going to be comfortable sleeping in those jeans.

When Alec finally woke up sometime around eleven in the morning, he felt more than a little disoriented. The deep red satin sheets were way nicer than the ones he had brought to school with him and the mattress was far more comfortable than those provided by student housing. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, it took him all of five seconds to feel unbearably constricted by the button-up shirt he had slept in, and, before his sleep-addled brain could tell him not to, he started to strip out of the shirt and threw the offensive piece of clothing off the side of the bed.

Flopping back down now that his arms had been freed from the confines of their fabric prison, Alec blinked slowly and willed himself to come alive. As his neurons finally decided to start firing, he was able to take in more of the room around him, specifically, the gorgeous man in bed next to him. His heart started racing as memories of everything that had happened the night before came rushing back to him, but its rhythm evened out as a soft smile rose to his face. He and Magnus were a couple. Or they were going to try to be.

Rolling over, Alec took in the sight of Magnus’ sleeping form and smiled even wider. He molded himself to Magnus’ back, looping an arm around his waist to pull him even closer to his chest. Magnus let out a little groan but didn’t wake up or pull away. 

Unable to help himself, Alec tilted his head down to press a kiss to Magnus’ shoulder. Feeling a little bold, he did it again, this time leaving a trail of kisses along his shoulder and up along Magnus’ neck. Magnus hummed happily, snuggling back into Alec’s embrace. “Good morning,” Alec whispered as he nosed behind Magnus’ ear and nibbled his earlobe gently.

“Mmm, good morning indeed,” Magnus sighed contently. “I could get used to waking up like this.”

“Yeah?” Alec asked, brushing his nose along the nape of Magnus’ neck. The way in which he said it didn’t require an answer. He knew that Magnus meant it and Alec would be all too happy to have more of this.

As Alec went about peppering the back of Magnus’ neck with kisses, he felt Magnus tense slightly. “Alexander?”

“Hmm?” Alec replied in between kisses.

“Where did your shirt go?”

  
  


***

Once Magnus had finished laughing at him, he’d peeled himself away from Alec to hop through the shower and “sort himself out.” It had taken a very flustered Alec a while to get  _ that  _ image out of his head and able to get up and dressed again. His shirt was a wrinkled mess and his hair was a disheveled mess, but Alec had never felt so well-rested in his life.

Venturing back out into the apartment, Alec took in the remnants of last night’s party. Cups were strewn about, half-eaten plates of food had been left on different surfaces, and the air still smelled like sweat and alcohol. Alec had been so caught up talking to Magnus that he hadn’t noticed the mess until now. ‘ _ I’m going to have to help clean this up _ ’ he thought to himself.

Making his way to the guest room to check on Izzy and Clary, he was not expecting for the bathroom door to open right in front of him. The Lightwood siblings both jumped as they scared each other when Izzy stepped out into the hall with a bath towel wrapped around herself. Alec immediately clamped his hand over his eyes just in case the towel had slipped at all.

“Am I good?” Alec asked, not taking his hand away from his face.

“Uh, yeah,” Izzy answered in a nervous voice. “I’m fine, but just don’t—”

She didn’t have time to finish before Alec uncovered and opened his eyes just in time to see a streak of bright red-orange hair dart into the bathroom. Alec looked at his sister with one eyebrow raised as if to say  _ “Really? Again?” _

Clary had been something of a whirlwind the way that Clary had entered Alec’s life. The Lightwood parents had always been benefactors of the arts and were invited to attend a gallery at the Brooklyn Academy of Art that showcased several of Clary’s pieces. For some reason, both Jace and Izzy had been infatuated with the girl ever since. A number of factors played into how Clary had dated and then not dated both of Alec’s siblings. Jace was currently trying to get himself established in the stunt performer industry and overall just work on improving himself as a person before asking her out again. And despite not being together anymore because of Izzy’s career and needing to be away so long for filming, the split had been an amicable one and Izzy and Clary maintained a friends-with-benefits situation when both happened to be single.

“Oh don’t look at me like that,” Izzy sassed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t tell you how to live your life.”

Alec threw his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say anything. I’m just wondering how you two could, ya know, after how much you both drank last night. Like I’m actually surprised you can even stand.”

Izzy got red in the face and definitely would have thrown or hit Alec with something if she could have. “¿Carajo, por qué eres cómo eres?” she hissed, turning on her heel and storming away, slamming the guest room door behind her.

Sighing heavily, Alec thought it best to head to the kitchen and get started on breakfast. He had to do some cleanup first and felt a bit weird going through Magnus’ things, but he hoped that he’d be forgiven once food had been provided. Finding all the materials and ingredients he needed, Alec set about making everyone an omelet and some toast. “Antoni, don’t fail me now,” he muttered to himself as he cracked the first two eggs into a bowl to beat together.

As he finally got to make his own omelet, having prioritized making Magnus, Izzy, and Clary’s breakfasts first, Alec felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind. He jumped slightly, startled from not having heard whoever it was sneak up behind him, but relaxed instantaneously when he turned to see Magnus’ beautiful face. “Hey,” Alec breathed out.

“Hey,” Magnus greeted him back. “I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry about that.” As he went to pull away, Alec caught hold of his wrists and pulled Magnus’ arms back around him. “I didn’t say you had to stop.” Magnus chuckled and kissed the back of Alec’s neck in response. He continued to give Alec the same treatment he’d woken up to until Alec finished cooking the eggs.

“You know,” Magnus flirtatiously whispered into Alec’s ear, “I like a man who makes me breakfast in the morning.”

A shiver ran down Alec’s spine but he laughed despite himself. “Wait until after you taste my cooking to say that.” He reached over to grab his plate and felt pretty grateful in that moment to have such long arm to be able to reach it without Magnus having to let go of him. 

Setting the plate back down, Alec twisted around to face Magnus. He was wearing a red slim-fit linen shirt, black jeans, and several necklaces, and he had his hair and makeup freshly done, looking gorgeous as always. “Wow,” Alec let out a little breathlessly, absorbing every inch of Magnus with the greatest emphasis on his beautiful face. 

A soft, almost shy smile crept across Magnus’ face and Alec was just about to lean in and kiss him when someone cleared their throat to get their attention. Magnus and Alec looked over at the same time to see Izzy and Clary staring at them from across the kitchen. Clary gave them a little awkward wave, clearly not knowing what else to do. They turned their heads to look back at each other and broke apart as if nothing had happened. 

Alec couldn’t look his sister in the eye as they all sat down to breakfast. There was some chit-chat about the party, but there was an awkward tension as they all seemed to be avoiding the elephant in the room. Magnus had just finished telling a story about the time he had acted as a nude model for Clary’s art class and how the school had raffled off the student’s drawings afterward when Izzy finally spoke up.

“So are we just not gonna talk about the fact you two had birthday sex last night?” she asked, looking back and forth between her brother and her friend.

At this, Magnus choked on the sip of coffee he’d just taken and Alec’s face turned as red as the tomatoes in their omelets. "Izzy!” Clary gasped, unable to believe the words that had just left the other girl’s mouth.

“What?” Izzy asked defensively. “You saw it too! Not to mention the fact that Alec wasn’t asleep out on the couch when we woke up this morning.” She crossed her arms and looked at the other three, daring them to tell her she was wrong.

“Isabelle,” Magnus said once he could speak again, “as much as I would have loved such a happy ending to my special day with someone as beautiful as Alexander—” at this, Izzy raised an eyebrow in Alec’s direction, “that’s not what happened. Your brother and I just stayed up and talked.”

“Talked?” Izzy asked in an incredulous voice. “My brother actually talked to someone who wasn’t family or someone he wasn’t forced to?”

This prompted Alec to shoot her a look and felt like he was about to start shaking. Before he could say something he might regret, Magnus reached under the table and grabbed hold of Alec’s hand. Alec took a deep breath to calm himself down as he squeezed Magnus’ hand and shot him a quick look of thanks.

“And that was all that happened?” Clary piped up, now clearly just as curious as Izzy was.

“Well it wasn’t  _ all _ that happened,” Alec mumbled, a healthy dose of pink still coloring his cheeks. He was no good with this sort of thing. It had taken him years to let Izzy and Jace know that he was gay, and neither he or Izzy were out to their parents. Alec never talked boys with anyone or had someone in his life worth telling his family about. Now, here he was with his whatever it was with Magnus that was still so new to himself coming out to two other people.

Izzy fixed Alec with a look and suddenly felt the need to clear his throat. “We kissed,” he admitted, not able to look up from the table. Fearing that Magnus might mistake his demeanor as shame or regret, Alec squeezed the hand still in his hard and ran his thumb over the back of it. He hoped that this would convey that everything that had happened to them had been legit.

“We also decided that we wanted to start seeing each other,” Magnus stated, smiling at Alec and squeezing his hand back. Alec chanced a timid smile back at him. “But,” he quickly added before the girls’ shock could wear off and they started squealing, “it’s still very, very new and unknown territory for the both of us. We will let you know more in time, but we have a lot to figure out for ourselves.” Alec’s heart felt as though it had swooped in his chest and he looked at Magnus, not for the first time in awe. 

“And I think that this goes without saying,” Magnus continued, his voice serious, “but please keep this private and let us be the ones to tell people? The last thing that either of us needs is for our relationship to be broadcast to the world.”

“I promise!” Clary said, holding her hand up like she was being sworn into office. “Izzy and I will just have to talk to each other about how cute you two are together.”

Alec’s face started to turn hot again and he shot a look at her that lasted all of three seconds when Magnus leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Then he was just embarrassed and soft rather than embarrassed and salty.

Pointing a finger in Magnus’ direction with a serious look on her face, Izzy said in a warning tone, “You’re one of my best friends and I’m always going to be grateful to you for pushing the studio to cast a lesser-known actress, but if you break my brother’s heart I promise filming the sequel will not be a good time for you.”

“Wait, they already want to do a sequel?” Alec asked, quickly feeling like a dumbass.

Izzy turned white as a sheet, clearly having disclosed some big secret, but Magnus reached across the table to take her hand (with the one not still holding Alec’s) and turned to look at Alec with fond exasperation. “Darling, I already told you this last night.”

Yet again, Alec flushed in embarrassment. He swore he was going to walk around permanently looking like he had a sunburn after this. And truth be told, he probably missed that part of the conversation because it happened while he’d been zoned out just taking in how beautiful Magnus was up-close and in-person.

Relaxing immensely knowing she hadn’t been the first to spoil the studio’s upcoming plans if the first movie did well, Izzy then turned to point at her brother. “And you,” she cautioned, “Don’t be an idiot. Magnus is a great guy and I’ll kick your butt if you hurt him. You finally found someone you can open up to. You hold on to him.” 

Her words might have come off a bit harsh, but Alec knew that Izzy really only wanted what was best for him. She’d seen him struggling over the years, and while she did the best that she could, Izzy didn’t always know how to help him. Some stuff she just couldn’t understand, but now Alec found somebody who could, Izzy wasn’t about to let him sabotage himself.

“Yes ma’am,” Alec replied, determined to make her proud.

***

Clary and Izzy had left right after they finished eating while Alec stuck around for a few hours to help Magnus clean up the aftermath of his birthday party. Being that they had all gotten up so late, their plans to have lunch together didn’t quite pan out. Eventually, they agreed to have dinner together that night after Alec went back to his dorm and scrubbed himself in the shower and finished up the homework that he needed to get done. Neither were too anxious for Alec to leave.

Hours later dressed up for dinner in his favorite green knit sweater and less-fitted jeans than the night before, and in severe need of a drink under the knowledge that midterms were closing in on him and he was still struggling with his script, Alec arrived back at Magnus’ building. A doorman who definitely wasn’t there last night stopped Alec on his way in, but once Alec told him his name and who he had come there to see, the doorman—Gabriel—let him in and apologized for the inconvenience. Alec felt the urge to vehemently assure the man that he was only doing his job, but that would mean talking to a stranger longer than necessary and he’d more than likely end up fucking that up, and Magnus was surely anxiously waiting for him to get back. So instead, he told Gabriel thanks and wished him a good night.

In the same elevator that Alec had ridden up to the penthouse in the night before, he was overcome with the sensation of butterflies in his stomach. He had pushed the idea away earlier, needing to focus on his homework, but now the thought tugged at his brain/mind once more: Did this technically count as their first date? It wasn’t dinner out a nice restaurant or even at some hole-in-the-wall place, but something told Alec that those kinds of things wouldn’t be in the cards for them; not if they wanted to keep their relationship from making headlines. So this had to count as a date, right? 

Truth be told, Alec wouldn’t completely mind staying in for dinner dates. There was something terrifically romantic and intimate about the idea, and maybe even a little domestic. And knowing Magnus, Alec had few doubts that he could get just about anything delivered to them regardless of what restaurant it came from or how expensive it was.

A small smile already on his face, Alec suddenly felt much more confident in the impulsive decision that he had made to stop by a flower vendor and pick up a small bouquet of colorful gerbera daisies. Their appearance reminded him of how vibrant Magnus was, but he had been unsure up until that point whether or not buying them had been a good idea. Yeah, he and Magnus had agreed to go out with one another, but Alec had no idea if it was too soon for the flowers thing.

That smile quickly faded, however, when Alec arrived at Magnus’ door only to hear muffled shouting inside. Besides Magnus, he had no idea who could be inside, much less someone worth having an argument with. Now his anxious ass was left with another problem to try and figure out. He didn’t want to walk in on or interrupt what was happening, but he had also been standing out in the hallway long enough for one of Magnus’ neighbors to pass by and look at him funny and that made him feel nauseous too. Eventually, he settled on sending Magnus a text asking him if it was okay for him to come inside. 

Approximately thirty seconds and one muffled cry of “He’s outside!” later, Magnus threw his front door open and pulled Alec inside. Before Alec had a chance to gauge whether or not Magnus was upset about him being there, Magnus had his arms wrapped around him and was squeezing him tightly. Breathing a sigh of relief, Alec hugged him back and buried his face in Magnus’ hair. It tickled his face slightly and had a healthy amount of product in it, but Magnus’ hair also smelt like cinnamon and sandalwood and Alec couldn’t help but inhale the scent deep into his lungs.

“Would it be weird for me to say that I missed you?” Magnus asked, not loosening his hold.

“No,” Alec breathed out happily. “I missed you too.” Alec had never missed anyone who wasn’t either of his siblings or his mother after only a few hours. Most of the time he dreaded having to see them again. He liked it.

While the two of them were wrapped up in one another, someone standing behind Magnus’ back cleared their throat. “Are you two quite done yet?” they—who Alec opened his eyes to see was an older man with graying curls and a serious face—grumbled in a British accent.

Magnus pulled away from Alec just a little and rolled his eyes, which caused Alec to fight back wanting to laugh despite the sudden spike in his anxiety. “Let me hug my boyfriend, you old toad,” Magnus bickered, shoot a look at the man. When he looked back at Alec, Alec was staring at him with a look of shock and awe.

“What?” Magnus asked, his face and voice fond but confused.

“You called me your boyfriend,” Alec marveled. It hadn’t been something they had discussed—in fact, they still had quite a bit _to_ discuss when it came to figuring out what this relationship was going to look like, but Alec couldn’t say he was upset by the revelation that Magnus already saw them as boyfriends. In disbelief and convinced that he was dreaming yes, but not upset. “ _My_ _boyfriend_ is Magnus Bane,” he said allowed mostly to himself, trying to solidify that this in fact was real.

Looking back at Alec with what could only have been described as “heart eyes,” Magnus cupped his hand around the back of Alec’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. It didn’t last as long as either of them wanted it to, broken off by the man letting out an exasperated sigh. Magnus pulled away once more and gave Alec a sheepish look before turning to face the man. “Ragnor, must you really ruin the moment?”

“Forgive me for not wanting to watch you get carried away with your fanboy,” Ragnor quipped, rolling his eyes.

Alec was about to speak up to defend himself from this man who didn’t know him from a hole in the wall, but Magnus beat him to it. “Honestly, Ragnor, this isn’t about him being a fan. I’m not dating him for the ego boost. Alexander is special and we have a real connection.”

Ragnor heaved a heavy sigh. “I’m only trying to look out for you, Magnus. As your friend and your manager. You know how much Catarina and I care for you. The last thing that we want to see is you getting hurt because some film student wants to use you to make connections and have his time in the spotlight.”

“That is the absolute last thing that I want,” Alec refuted, looking at Ragnor both horrified and angered. “I do not want all of those cameras shoved in my face and making a spectacle of me just trying to do normal couple stuff or go to school and live my life. And yeah, well some nepotism will help in the long run, I don’t want to coast my way to where I want to be. I want to put in the work and prove that I deserve to be on whatever big project I’ll end up working on. I don’t use my sister like that and I most certainly wouldn’t just use Magnus like that.” 

Silence fell over the apartment while Ragnor looked Alec up and down in a stone-faced appraisal. When he had finally reached whatever conclusion he had about Alec, he turned his head to face Magnus. “Bloody hell, you might have finally picked a decent human to date,” he exclaimed, clearly shocking Magnus as much as he’d shocked Alec. “I’m on my way to liking this boy,” Ragnor stated, clearly pleased with having left the two dumbfounded. “I’ll tell Catarina that you haven’t officially completely lost your mind and we will set up a time for all four of us to have dinner so us two can get to know Alec here more.”

With that, he strode over and gave Magnus a quick hug goodbye and patted Alec on the shoulder as he walked by. “Goodnight, my friend,” Ragnor said, grabbing his coat and heading out the door. “Catarina and I will see you tomorrow afternoon for lunch.” He left before Magnus had time to respond, not giving him any room to get out of the plans.

Magnus let out a tired sigh and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Alec’s collarbone. “Please don’t hold it against that prickly pear. He really is a dear friend of mine and the best manager an actor could hope to have. Ragnor and Cat have just had to help me mend my broken heart more times than I can count. They are worried I’m rushing into this and heading for another implosion.”

“You aren’t, right?” Alec worried. Things were moving quite fast since last night, not counting holding off on sleeping together. He could understand why Magnus’ friends were so concerned because now  _ he _ was concerned too.

“Hey,” Magnus said softly, caressing Alec’s cheek. “That is the best thing Ragnor has ever said about anyone I have even considered dating. We can talk about the finer points of this relationship over dinner tonight and any time that we need to in the future. I can’t see the future, but I know that I want you in my life and by my side, Alexander. I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”

Alec didn’t quite know what to say other than “I want you too.” Not feeling quite satisfied with that answer alone, he dove in to kiss Magnus again in one remanent of their first, albeit much more sure of himself and that Magnus wouldn’t push him away.

It was only after when their foreheads rested against one another’s that Magnus noticed the flowers in Alec’s hand. Truth be told, Alec had forgotten that he was holding them up until that point. “I wasn’t sure if bringing flowers was too much too soon,” Alec admitted.

Scooping the bouquet up to smell the flowers, Magnus gave Alec a heartfelt smile. “These will look beautiful on the dinner table. Thank you, Alexander. I love them.” He pressed a kiss to Alec’s cheek and set off to find a vase to put them in.

Alec took off his jacket and got comfortable while he waited. He looked around the living room shelves more closely than he’d been able to before. Magnus had numerous books, some new paperback, and others that appeared to be more collectible rare editions. Alec stroked his finger along the spines as he read the titles, noting the eclectic mix of genres.

“I have nothing against e-readers,” Magnus’ voice came from close behind Alec, “but there’s just something different about holding a physical book in your hand, you know? The smell of it, the feel of the paper underneath your fingers, seeing just how much progress you’ve made…” Alec turned around as his voice trailed off. Magnus was sat quite comfortably on the couch, lounging back with a glass of red wine in his hand. Somehow he looked both charming in a way that filled Alec’s heart with fondness and incredibly seductive.

“No, no. I get,” Alec assured him. “I like that my boyfriend is a secret bibliophile.” He smiled wide as he said the word ‘boyfriend.’ The very notion that he had a boyfriend, much less that he was dating Magnus of all people, was insane, and yet he felt practically giddy about it. It was the happiest that he had felt since learning he had been accepted to the School of Visual Arts.

The look on Magnus’ face turned slightly mischievous. “Would it be wrong of me to admit that I was enjoying the view?” He grinned over the rim of his wine glass.

Freer than he ever could have imagined, Alec let out a laugh. He strode over to the couch, his long legs serving him well, and planted another kiss on Magnus’ lips. “Nope. But I’m not sure if I can forgive you for not pouring me a glass too,” Alec teased.

“Alexander, what kind of a monster do you take me for?” Magnus gasped in mock offense. “I have one for you out in the other room where I have dinner set up.” Alec gave him another quick peck and set off to sit down for dinner. Magnus playfully smacked Alec’s ass as he stepped around the couch, causing Alec to blush but giggle happily.

The dining room was decorated with white candles surrounded a table set for two, providing them with romantic mood lighting. In the middle of the table sat the gerberas daisies in a crystal vase that absorbed the candlelight around it. It was all terribly beautiful and romantic and screamed ‘First Date.’

“I hope it’s not too much,” Magnus ventured, coming to stand by Alec. “I know we didn’t exactly say that this was a date, but I was kind of hoping that it could be.”

“Magnus, it’s perfect,” Alec responded earnestly. ‘ _ You’re perfect _ ,’ he thought to himself. ‘ _ Perfectly imperfect _ .’

Dinner was a spread of Italian food set up in a buffet-style out in the kitchen that Alec and Magnus loaded on to their plates and brought back out to the table to eat. It was unconventional and certainly not the same as being served in a restaurant, but it was fitting for them. 

Over dinner, the two of them flushed out the details of what they wanted this relationship to look like going forward, going over their schedules and figuring out where and how they would meet up. Gabriel would be notified that Alec was to be let in whenever he showed up and on the days whenever he noticed any paparazzi lurking around out front he would be able to get in through a maintenance door in the alley. Whenever Magnus would come to see Alec—something he insisted upon doing—he would dress up in a disguise that didn’t look too much like it was trying to be a disguise and sneak out and back in the same door. 

After all of that, they had the delightfully embarrassing conversation about what role sex would play in all of this. Once Magnus had coaxed Alec through his flustered stuttering, the two of them agreed to wait and not to rush into things. As time went on and they knew that they were solid and going steady, then they would start out with small things and make their way up from there. All in all, it was a far less mortifying exchange than Alec had anticipated, and by the time it was over a whole new level of trust and respect had been built between himself and Magnus.

Later, once the lovebirds had finished eating and done the dishes in a terribly domestic fashion, Magnus introduced Alec to the reason why Ragnor had stopped by in the first place. 

“I’m going to name him Chairman Meow,” Magnus stated as he dangled a feathered cat toy in front of his new feline. “Ragnor knew how much I missed my last feline friend, The Great Catsby, so he adopted this little baby for me for my birthday.” Both men laughed as a pair of tiny paws pounced on the feather when the kitten launched itself from underneath the couch on which they sat.

“You’re so weird,” Alec teased him affectionately before dropping a kiss to the top of Magnus’ head. “I have to admit, I never pegged you as a cat person before.”

Magnus smiled sadly as Chairman rolled onto his back and held the feather with his front paws while scratching at it with his back. “I got Catsby as an emotional support animal when I was a teenager. Losing him was like losing my best friend. I’m going to get the Chairman qualified as one too as soon as I can.”

Seeing the sadness in Magnus’ eyes and dying inside because he had lost someone else so close and important to him, Alec pulled Magnus into his chest and laid them back so that they were spooning on the couch. “Alexander, what are you doing?” Magnus asked, laughing and unperturbed by the fact that he was now caged in by his boyfriend’s arms and legs. 

“What does it look like?” Alec chuckled, adjusting his arm underneath Magnus to a more comfortable position. “I’m cuddling the sadness out of you.” He buried his face in Magnus’ hair once more and just let his entire being be absorbed in his boyfriend. Alec hoped that Magnus felt as safe and content as he did right now.

He got his answer when Magnus melted back into him. “Fine, but I’m not too sure Chairman appreciates you interrupting playtime,” he teased.

“I’ll buy him some catnip as an apology,” Alec replied, his voice slightly muffled by Magnus’ hair. He smiled widely as he felt Magnus’ body shake with laughter against him.

“Can I at least put on a movie?” Magnus inquired, trying to grab the remote on the coffee table that was just out of reach. He tried to lean forward to try reach a bit further, but Alec wasn’t having it. “Teddy bear,” he mumbled as he pulled Magnus back.

“Oh and  _ I’m _ the weird one?” Magnus asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Alec answered, kissing the top of Magnus’ head several times in quick succession.

Magnus groaned and rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous. Completely ridiculous.”

“You’re the one who said yes to dating me.”

“That I did,” Magnus smiled. “That I did.”

Eventually, Alec unwound one of his freakishly long arms and managed to grab the remote, only needing to roll on top of Magnus slightly to do so. They settled in to watch one of Magnus’ self-proclaimed favorite movies,  _ Legally Blonde _ , and at one point Chairmen decided to join them, apparently having concluded that the best place to lay down was on top of both Magnus and Alec’s shoulders. 

And if Alec missed his morning class for the first time all semester because all three of them had fallen asleep just like that, well then that was nobody else’s business but their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone curious as to what Izzy said, it roughly translates to "Fuck, why are you like this?" Thank you to my girl Chelo for helping me come up with this insult <3
> 
> And thank YOU for reading this story. I promise that it means more to me than I can put into words.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over the next few weeks, Magnus and Alec fall for each other even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter??? So soon??? Whaaaaaat????? 
> 
> Yeah, I don't know what happened, but I cranked this out in about two days and am ready to share it with all of you. <3 Thank you to my beta who actually studies film in school for letting me use her actual assignments for Alec's. <3<3<3
> 
> As always, thank you so very much for reading!
> 
> (P.S. spot the Hamilton reference ;P )
> 
> PLEASE READ THE END A/N

Magnus and Alec spent as much time as they could together from there on out. After class, Alec would head over to Magnus’ to decompress and eat something besides overly-processed mass-produced dining hall food. In the time he spent there Magnus had somehow roped him into doing yoga with him and they would work out together in Magnus’ home gym. And Chairman Meow had bonded with him just as much as the cat had with Magnus. Magnus even suggested that, since he seemed to do so well with him, that Alec should consider getting his own emotional support cat. As tempting as it was, Alec wasn’t sure how his roommate would feel about him having one or if the guy was allergic and he didn’t know how he’d explain it to his parents.

Midterms were hell, as Alec had anticipated, but they were made worse by the fact that cramming for them meant that he needed to stay on campus to study instead of watching something curled up with Magnus. Because he was a good boyfriend, Magnus made sure that Alec stayed on task and essentially banned him from the apartment until he finished that last test. But this was alright as Magnus had promised to make it worth Alec’s while. Sure enough, once Alec had submitted his last essay and completed his twenty-page questionnaire for the characters in his script, he had texted Magnus and their conversation quickly turned risque enough that Alec thanked the gods that his roommate was M.I.A. that night. The next day, still keyed up from the saucy texts in his inbox, Alec arrived at the loft where Magnus made good on his promise to show Alec that his talents with his mouth didn’t stop at delivering dialogue.

Thanksgiving Break came soon after, and while spending the holiday home with his family was a necessary evil, being able to call and text Magnus made the whole thing more bearable. That year, when everyone went around the table to say what they were thankful for, Alec said, “New friends.”

Izzy had smiled at him throughout dinner, not exactly being subtle, and Jace caught on right away. That night after the football game had ended, Alec had taken his brother aside and asked him to meet him upstairs. When Jace arrived at Alec’s old bedroom, Alec was waiting for him with Magnus, who was joining them via Skype on Alec’s laptop. Every so often you could hear Ragnor and Catarina and Catarina’s little girl, Madzie, in the background on his end.

Jace was understandably confused, but once Alec and Magnus had walked him through the whole situation he was beaming at his brother with pride. “Alec, I’m so happy for you!” he practically shouted, wrapping Alec in a bearhug. When he let Alec go, Jace turned back to the computer. “Magnus, man, I can’t wait to meet you in person. And thank you. This is the first time I’ve seen Alec in months and I could tell from the moment he walked through the door that he wasn’t the same person as before. He’s happier now. You can just feel it. I don’t know if you two are just having mindblowing sex or what it is you two are doing in your relationship, but it’s really good for him. So thank you.”

Alec was just about to punch Jace in the arm for being an idiot, but his words and the look on Magnus’ face after Jace finished speaking stopped him. “I can assure you, Jace,” Magnus said after clearing his throat, “that since Alexander entered my life I have been a much happier person as well. In fact, my friends have teased me relentlessly about it all night.” He chuckled at this and slid his eyes over from Jace’s face to Alec’s. “I miss you, darling. But you enjoy spending time with your siblings. I’m going to go spend mine with my family too.”

Magnus pressed a kiss to his fingers and held them up to the webcam and Alec did the same. “See you soon, Magnus. Tell everyone I said ‘hi.’” Magnus smiled and nodded before signing off. Once Alec had closed his laptop he turned to see Jace looking at him funny. “What?” he asked.

Jace just rolled his eyes, chuckled to himself, and patted his brother on the back. “I give it until this summer.” Alec looked at him horrified. Did his brother really think that things between him and Magnus would only last a couple of months? Seeing his brother’s expression, Jace quickly added, “I meant until I’m taking you ring shopping.”

Stammering for a few moments, Alec tried to form some kind of arguments as to it being way too soon to start thinking about that sort of thing, but Jace had already slipped out the door before he could get a word out.

***

He had no idea why his professors had decided to schedule midterms and finals only about a month apart, but Alec was determined to squeeze in every second of time with Magnus that he could. After he got back from break, he invited Magnus over to his dorm room for the first time. Prior to this, he had researched all the nearby restaurants and fast food places that did delivery and registered for a food delivery service for the ones that didn’t send their own drivers. Alec also deep cleaned what he could of the room, not that his side needed it. He wished that his roommate’s half was a bit cleaner, but he didn’t want to touch his stuff. Unlike Raj who regularly used his stuff without asking and who Alec was 99% sure had slept with someone in  _ his _ bed. Alec had complained about him to Magnus several times because doing so to the R.A. got him nowhere.

When Alec went down to let Magnus into the building he was greeted by the sight of his boyfriend wearing a fluffy winter coat, leather boots, some signature tight jeans, a long oversized black hoodie, and a beanie with a scarf wrapped around his neck and face. If Alec didn’t know that every piece Magnus wore was designer he would say that he’d blend perfectly into a crowd. 

Hurrying up into Alec’s room, Magnus started to strip the many layers off, pants included, and dove under the covers of Alec’s bed, pulling the comforter up over his head. “Have I ever told you that I hate winter?” he asked in a muffled voice. Alec only laughed and climbed under the covers next to him. Magnus quickly curled up into him, trying to absorb his boyfriend’ body heat, and shoved his cold fingers under Alec’s shirt to try to warm them up.

“Jesus!” Alec hissed at the unpleasant sensation, trying to push the ice blocks Magnus called hands off of him. “Didn’t you wear gloves?”

“I forgot them on the counter,” Magnus grumbled, now trying to wedge his cold fingers into Alec’s armpits. This only caused Alec to recoil again and reveal that he was very ticklish in that spot. “I’ll have to keep this in mind,” Magnus murmured, tickling Alec again.

“Oh, and you’re not ticklish anywhere?” Alec challenged.

“Nowhere you’ve found yet,” Magnus goaded him with a look of pure mischief on his face.

Taking the bait, Alec started moving his hands all across Magnus’ body, tickling him in various places in an attempt to find his secret tickle spot. He found success once he reached the back of Magnus’ knees and the bottom of his foot. Unfortunately, this dissolved into a full-on tickle fight that only ended when Alec took a knee to the groin.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Magnus apologized profusely and, without thinking, reached out to soothe the pain he had accidentally inflicted on the appendage there. There was an awkward pause as both of them realized the position they were in which was broken when the two of them descended into laughter. Deciding to just roll with it, Magnus moved on top of Alec so he could straddle him. He ran his tongue across the palm of his hand and leaned down to kiss Alec while he set to work. Alec had just gotten his hand down his boyfriend’s pants to reciprocate when they were interrupted by the sudden and unexpected return of Alec’s roommate.

“Aw dude, seriously?” Raj groaned, dropping his bag on the floor. “You couldn’t have texted me or put a sock on the door or something to let me know you had some chic—” It then clearly just registered to him that there were two men in the other bed. “Wait, you’re fucking gay?” Raj asked dumbfoundedly with just a hint of what sounded like disgust.

“Say something homophobic, Raj, I swear to god,” a seriously mortified Alec hissed under his breath, loud enough for only Magnus to hear. That would be the absolute cherry on top of this rooming situation.

“I’ve got this sweetheart,” Magnus assured him, pressing a kiss to Alec’s forehead. Adjusting the blankets and then himself, Magnus sat up and propped his chin in his hand and fixed Raj with a no-nonsense look. “Yes, he is. And I’m his bisexual boyfriend. That isn’t going to be a problem now, is it?”

Raj blinked several times and stammered out, “N-no, no, I didn’t mean...I just didn’t...No, it won’t.”

“Good,” Magnus replied with a smile that said ‘it better fucking not.’ “My apologies for this awkward situation, we weren’t expecting you to be back any time soon.”

“It’s fine, I wasn’t—hey, wait a minute,” Raj said and Alec felt his stomach drop. Raj’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates. “I know you! You’re—”

“Going to be in contact with my lawyer,” Magnus interjected, cutting him off. “Raphael will be serving you with a contract for a non-disclosure agreement...probably by early tomorrow afternoon at the latest. And trust me, you do not want to get on his bad side by breaking it or telling anyone about me and Alexander before it gets to you; he’ll bleed you dry.” He hadn’t hired the best lawyer in Hollywood for nothing. Raphael Santiago cost a fortune, but he was worth every penny.

Raj’s face turned pale and Magnus kept the deadly serious smile on his face. “Now, I think that it would be best for you to leave for a while. Go to the library and study for a bit or something.” Raj nodded quickly and began gathering his things. Just before he left, Magnus added, “Oh hey Raj? Remember what I said: do not tell a soul.” His voice was chilling and commanding enough that it visibly struck terror and compliance into Raj’s very soul.

After Raj had torn out of there slamming and locking the door behind him, Magnus let out a deep breath and relaxed his tense muscles. “That should do it,” he muttered, reaching for his phone in the pocket of his pants. He shot off a quick text to Raphael before shoving his phone away again and turning to face Alec. “What?” he asked in a bemused voice when he saw the way Alec was looking at him.

Alec wet his lips and kept his gaze fixed on Magnus. “Is it wrong that I find you irresistibly sexy right now?” he asked, his voice husky.

Magnus laughed heartily before kissing Alec again and picking back up where they had left off.

From there on out, Magnus became as familiar a presence in Alec’s room as Alec was in the loft. The two would compete against one another or against Jace on Alec’s Xbox and Magnus would help proof-read Alec’s work and help him study when needed. Magnus even had a stash of hair products on Alec’s dresser so that he could fix his hair once the beanie came off. One day, Alec loaned Magnus one of his sweatshirts with the school’s logo on it so that he could run to the restroom and long story short, Alec never got it back. Not that he was complaining. 

***

Laying on Magnus’ couch one evening, Alec’s head in his lap while Chairman was asleep in Alec’s, Magnus put forth the question.

“Alexander, what are your plans for after Christmas? Are you doing anything special for New Year’s Eve?”

“Not much,” Alec answered truthfully, looking up at him. “We don’t do too much for it besides watch the ball drop.”

Nodding softly and running a hand through Alec’s hair, Magnus asked a follow-up question: “Would you like to spend New Year’s with me?” Maybe it was because Alec didn’t respond right away, too stunned by the prospect of finally having someone to kiss at midnight, but Magnus seemed to feel the need to clarify. “I have to fly out to L.A. to spend Christmas with my father, but I always celebrate New Year’s with Ragnor, Catarina, and Madzie. You could meet everyone there properly and it would be an excuse to get away from your parents…” He was rambling slightly by the end and Alec felt a little bad for finding him adorable for it.

Propping himself up carefully so as not to disturb the Chairman, Alec leaned in to kiss Magnus’ cheek. “I’d love that, Magnus. Although I don’t know how the fireworks could ever compare to how amazing I’m sure that you’re going to look.” A sense of pride filled his heart as a blush spread over Magnus’ cheeks.

However, despite Alec saying yes to New Years, Magnus didn’t seem any less tense. “Magnus, is there something else?” Alec pressed.

“Are you going to stay on campus or will you be back home until the new semester starts?” Magnus inquired, so anxiously Alec could feel it coming off of him.

“Um,” Alec started, caught a little off guard. “It costs extra to stay over the break and there’s no dining hall service, so I was gonna split my time between my parents’ and Izzy’s place. Why do you ask?”

Magnus chewed his bottom lip and gave Alec an almost pleading look. “I was wondering if, starting New Years, you’d like to stay here until your Spring semester starts. It’s not exactly moving in, but I thought maybe you’d be more comfortable—”

Alec cut him off with a kiss. He must have moved a little too much for the Chairman’s taste because the cat leaped off of him with a loud “meow” and shot the two humans a dirty look before padding off to his cat tower. Magnus and Alec laughed at the cat being so thoroughly done with them but quickly went back to being their sappy selves. Alec caressed Magnus’ beautiful face. “Absolutely. Truth be told, I’m probably going to have a hard time leaving.”

‘ _ Then don’t _ .’ Magnus thought to himself as he got lost in Alec’s eyes once more.

***

Alec hated finals week and the days leading up to it with a burning passion. Not only had he struggled yet again to develop something he really liked to hand in, but being away from Magnus made him feel lonely and irritable. And that only made him wonder if he was perhaps a bit too codependent on his boyfriend. Just to give himself some peace of mind, he blew off studying one day to have lunch with his sister, which, admittedly, he had been negligent about doing since getting with Magnus. Luckily, he hadn’t had zero contact with her at all and they still texted fairly regularly, so she could only razz him so much. 

All too soon, Alec was packing up his dorm to head home for the next several weeks, and Alec was struck by two thoughts at the same time: he’d been so busy with school that he hadn’t yet gotten around to Christmas shopping, and whatever gift he ended up getting for Magnus he would have to wait until New Year’s to give him. Luckily, Izzy was letting him stash all of his stuff at her place until he could bring it to Magnus’ with him and he’d be able to keep the gift there and away from his nosy parents.

Two days before Christmas, having gotten a little something for everyone else, Alec was still struggling to find the right gift for Magnus. The clothes his boyfriend liked to wear were way outside of his price range and he had gotten overwhelmed in the Sephora with the number of people there and the array of products he had no knowledge of. He had managed to get something for both of his siblings and his parents, but Alec still had no idea what to get Magnus. He was just about to give up when he came across an antique shop that caught his eye. It was there that Alec found the perfect gift he’d been looking for.

Christmas itself was only made bearable by Magnus and Alec being able to text each other back and forth. Both of them hated having to be around their parents any longer than they had to and having someone to vent to about who said what hurtful things or why one parent was screaming at someone really helped. Unfortunately, Alec wasn’t being as subtle about his phone usage as he thought.

“Who is she?” Maryse Lightwood sprung the question on her son right as he had walked out of the bathroom, knowing that she could catch him off-guard. And catch him off-guard she did.

“Jesus, Mom!” Alec shouted, jumping a good inch or more off the floor and dropping his phone. Of course, it landed face-down so he would have no idea whether or not he shattered the screen until he picked it up. “Do we really have to do this right now?”

“Yes, yes we do,” Maryse asserted, crossing her arms. “You’ve been especially distant from the family this year. Distracted. And don’t think I don’t notice you texting at the dinner table and going to the bathroom to make phone calls. And I saw you at Sephora while I was shopping for your sister. I’m your mother, not an idiot. So who is she?”

It was times like these when Alec was both grateful for and hated the fact that he hadn’t come out to his parents yet. He couldn’t handle it if his parents had one more reason to hate him. But weren’t moms always supposed to know these things about their kids anyway? Alec wished he could tell his mom all about Magnus and how amazing it was being with him and how he felt alive because of him, but it was too big of a risk to take right now. Not when things were still fairly new. Maybe in like a year. However, he did need to tell her that he wouldn’t be staying here for the next few weeks, and this just gave him the perfect white lie.

“Magn-Magnolia,” Alec stammered, hoping to play his obvious blunder off as nerves instead of him attempting to bullshit his way out of the situation. “Her name is Magnolia and I’m gonna spend New Year’s with her and her friends. And I’m gonna stay with her until school starts up again.”

Maryse stared at him, clearly wrestling with the fact that Alec was technically an adult and free to make his own choices and therefore she couldn’t keep him from doing something she definitely didn’t approve of. “It must be pretty serious,” she said through gritted teeth, fighting to keep her face pleasant or at least neutral.

“Uh, yeah, it is,” Alec answered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “She’s pretty incredible.”

“Well, I’ll absolutely have to meet her then. You should bring her to dinner some night.”

His mother’s words likely weren’t intended to sound so menacing and so much like a threat, but Alec’s fight or flight instincts kicked into high-gear nonetheless. “Yeah, uh, sure, mom. If we can swing it. We both get really busy with school. Hardly see each other most of the time. But, uh, we’ll-we’ll talk about it.” With that, he scooped up his (thankfully unbroken) cellphone and bolted.

That night when he was on the phone with Magnus, his boyfriend’s uproarious laughter over his “Magnolia” moniker, so loud that Asmodeus poked his head in to see if he was alright and he and Alec felt like a couple of teenagers sneaking around, made the whole thing worth it.

***

December 31st Alec headed over to Magnus’ apartment early. He’d been able to fit all of his bags into the Uber so he’d only need to make one trip from Izzy’s apartment, but Gabriel had to help him with getting them all up to the loft. He joked with Alec on the elevator ride up about him already moving in so soon, to which Alec laughed nervously and felt the need to quickly clarify that it was only until the twelfth.

Magnus opened the door for them after only a few quick knocks and held it for them while they shuffled everything in. He sent Gabriel off with a generous tip for helping, calling it a “bonus gift,” and he and Alec brought everything into the guest room. Even though Alec and Magnus would 100% be sleeping in Magnus’ bed together, Magnus wanted Alec to have a separate space for his own things. As they unpacked the bag of clothes Alec had packed, he idly wondered what it would be like for them to have their things intermingled.

Once all that was set, it was time to exchange gifts. Alec held the gift bag nervously as he sat on the couch and waited for Magnus to join him. Magnus came over with a small gift box in one hand and the Chairman in the other. Seeing the cat brought a smile to Alec’s face and eased some of his nerves. 

“Oh your gift is so much bigger than mine,” Magnus remarked nervously, setting Chairman down on the couch between Alec and himself. 

“Magnus, don’t worry about it,” Alec, reaching over to squeeze his hand reassuringly. Chairman Meow took this to mean that both of them wanted to pet him and rubbed his head against their hands until they complied.

“Open mine first,” insisted Alec, holding the bag out towards Magnus. Magnus took it, obviously surprised by the weight of it, and gave the decorative tissue paper to Chairman to distract him.

Reaching into the bag, Magnus pulled out the semi-heavy object and placed the bag on the floor. Chairman took an immediate interest in it and jumped into the bag. Magnus and Alec laughed at the kitten’s antics and Alec brushed the tissue paper off the couch and into the bag with the cat.

Magnus set the object on his lap and looked at it and then up at Alec. “You got me a bowl?” he asked, recognizing the gift’s shape. Alec nodded slightly and encouraged him to keep going. Magnus pulled off the layer of red tissue paper to reveal an antique ceramic tea bowl. The bowl was an earthy gray on the outside and overlapping shades of blue on the inside. But what really made it stand out was the lines of gold spread out like a spider web across it.

“It’s called a ‘kintsugi,’” Alec explained. “The shop owner told me all about it. It’s built on the idea that there’s strength and beauty in imperfection. Basically, when a ceramic breaks, gold dust is used in whatever they stick the pieces back together with. When it’s finished, the cracks become part of the design and the gold makes it stronger and more beautiful. It’s thought to be a metaphor for brokenness and healing: by embracing one’s brokenness and imperfections can create something that’s unique and beautiful and strong.”

When Alec had entered the antique shop he had immediately been drawn to the kintsugi. Upon hearing what the piece was and the significance behind it, he had known why. Did it not perfectly capture Magnus and himself? Was there ever anything that so encapsulated who they were, what they had been through, and what they were trying to put back together?

Once Alec had finished explaining what it was, he looked up from the kintsugi to see Magnus’ face. He had expected to find joy or disappointment, but not tears. And not...not whatever expression Magnus was looking at him with. It was like the fond look he often gave Alec, but not. It was something more. Something unfamiliar.

“Hey, Magnus, are you okay?” Alec asked, reaching out to wipe Magnus’ tears away. “I can take it back if you don’t like it.” Magnus quickly shook his head to dismiss that.

Wiping a few more tears from his eyes, Magnus spoke. “Alexander, this is the most thoughtful, personal gift that anybody has ever given me. I-I don’t even know what to say. I love it. I love—” He cut himself off. Rather than try to play it off or address the look of shock frozen on Alec’s face, Magnus thrust his gift towards Alec, unable to look his boyfriend in the eye.

Alec knew what the end of that sentence was. He knew all of the weight that it held. And it was terrifying. Unable to think of what to say or what else to do, Alec took the box from Magnus and began to open it. 

The box was small like one you would buy jewelry in. Alec pulled off the sheer white ribbon wrapped around it and left it for the cat to play with. When he opened the box the first thing he saw was a piece of paper the size of a business card. Alec pulled it out and read it.

_ My dearest, Alexander, _

_ So that you may always have a place where you can irrevocably be yourself. _

_ Merry Christmas, _

_ Magnus _

Setting the card to the side, Alec looked back down in the box. There, sat atop fluffy white cotton lining, was a simple metal key.

Right away, Alec recognized what it was that Magnus had given him—a key to his apartment. A key to the place where he’d been able to breathe for the first time in years and never had to pretend that he was fine when he wasn’t. This was the place that felt warmer and happier and kinder than Alec’s own home. And all of that, every single thing that made the loft so special came back to one person. 

“Magnus…” Alec choked out, his voice cracking.

Very slowly, Magnus lifted his eyes to meet Alec’s. He looked as though he was on the cusp of utter despair, and if Alec had any doubts as to what he was about to say they disappeared in an instant with the way that his heart screamed at the mere thought of such a thing.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, lovelies! Thank you so much for reading! I just wanted to give you all the heads-up now: next chapter is going to involve some sex stuff (more than was in this chap.), but it won't be anything explicit and so I won't be changing the rating. If you aren't comfortable reading that sort of thing and want to skip over it, just scroll down to after the first set of stars. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for your love and support <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff and happiness...until reality comes knocking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, lovelies! Just a heads-up, I'm not entirely sure when this fic will be finished as I head back to school in two weeks and there are at least 3-4 more chapters worth of story to tell. Please be patient with me and I will do my best to bring you the rest of Alec and Magnus' story <3
> 
> Reminder that if sex scenes make you uncomfortable to scroll down past the first chunk to below the first set of stars. Again, there is nothing explicit and it is all implied, but I don't want anyone to be put-off :)

‘ _ He loves me. He loves me and I love HIM. _ ’ 

These were the thoughts that ran through Alec’s mind as he and Magnus fumbled their way into the bedroom. After he declared his love for Magnus, the two of them stared at each other while the revelation settled on them both. Once it had, the two immediately fell on one another. With the way that Magnus whispered “I love you” in his ear coupled with the way he was kissing Alec dizzy and running his hands over every inch of him that he could get his hands on, Alec was struck with the overwhelming need for one of them to be inside of the other. And with a breathy, disjointed, jumbled, “Magnus. Bedroom. Please. Now.” the two were off, nearly sending the kintsugi tumbling to the floor and causing sleeping Chairman to bolt away from the offending humans.

A giggling, happy mess, Magnus and Alec could barely kiss each other with how much they were smiling. Alec nearly went tumbling as he got his foot stuck in jeans but Magnus held him upright. It took laying down on the bed and Magnus’ assistance for Alec to peel the skin-tight leather pants off of him. They both laughed the entire time.

When both of their underwear lay in a pile beside the bed, Alec took a second to take all of Magnus in. It struck Alec that although they hadn’t been totally celibate, due to various reasons this was the first time he’d seen Magnus completely naked and would be the first time they’d be doing anything penetrative. He’d be a complete mess of nerves if he wasn’t so turned on and so very in love. 

What followed played out like poetry in motion:

_ The air buzzes with electric-like energy as one partner steps away to ready himself. _

_ Surprisingly patient, thorough preparation when he returns. _

_ The world holds its breath in anticipation then stops entirely as they become as close as two people physically can. _

_ A moment to take it all in sweetened by whispered affections and a kiss that could last forever. _

_ Smooth, languid, driven thrusts, drawing gasps and moans of pleasure.  _

_ Arching backs and fingers tangled in sheets and hair, and finally each other’s.  _

_ Murmured ‘I love you’s and almost-presses of lips through panting breaths. _

_ Warm bliss lost in each other, moving in perfect tandem. _

_ Rapidly increasing tempo as momentum builds, hurtling them closer and closer and closer. _

_ Crescendoing cries of release, minds disconnecting from bodies in ecstasy as they are flung to the stars. _

_ Soft tender kisses on plump, swollen lips as the moment draws to an end. _

***

Alec stared at the ceiling trying to catch his breath. He closed his eyes rolled his head on the pillow beneath him only now feeling as though he were just starting to come back into his own body. They had been right to wait. No way would sex have been as rapturous, bordering on transcendental had they done it any other way. 

Magnus lay equally spent next to him, just far enough for them to be able to cool off. He too was a bit too blissed out at the moment to think straight. When he came down enough to check the time on the clock, he sighed in relief. They still had plenty of time before they needed to get up and get ready. 

Giving a voice command for his Google Home Device to set an alarm, Magnus rolled over and snuggled into Alec. Alec turned on his side and allowed himself to be spooned, still flying a bit too high to speak, and tangled their legs together. Magnus placed his free hand on top of Alec’s and slotted their fingers together and Alec pulled them both into his chest. They drifted off moments after, as wrapped up in each other spiritually, heart and soul, as they were physically.

The rest of New Years went amazing. Magnus had looked as stunning as Alec had known he would, decked out in a metallic silver Tom Ford cocktail jacket, slim fit black dress pants, black leather shoes, and a collared paisley-print wine red asymmetrical button-down shirt. His jewelry and eyeliner were also silver and he had styled his hair into a mohawk and added red highlights. The sight made Alec want to get him naked all over again.

Alec got along swimmingly with Catarina and even Ragnor seemed to come around to him more and more as the evening went on. And if Magnus had thought that he was in love with Alec before, he fell ten times harder past the point of being completely gone for the man seeing him play with his god-daughter.

The night drew to a close in the best of ways, with champagne celebrations, midnight kisses, and the promise of a new year ahead. Together.

***

After living with Magnus until school started back up, not only could neither of them quite walk straight, but Magnus couldn’t bring himself to let Alec leave. Alec was just thankful he hadn’t needed to voice his desire to stay at risk of feeling like he was imposing or would be a burden. He kept the bare-minimum at his dorm, as he still technically lived there, but moved into the loft on a more permanent basis. Despite this having happened quite fast—only a little over two months into their relationship—the feeling of getting to go to bed together every night and wake up beside each other every morning assured them they had made a good decision.

The next couple of months were the happiest of Magnus and Alec’s lives. Now that they had a lot more time together whenever Alec wasn’t at school or busy with school work, they had to find new ways to enjoy each other’s company. They still worked out together and did yoga (both of them thoroughly appreciating the added flexibility it gave them and what the sight of Magnus in yoga pants did to Alec), and continued to binge-watch things, but variety is the spice of life and neither wanted things to become too mundane or for them to go stir-crazy from being unable to leave the apartment together. 

Once they had grown bored with the selection offered on their streaming services, they started browsing shows and movies on some not-quite-so-legal sites, despite Magnus having the money to rent or buy them online. There was just something so funny and a little bit exciting about it. 

On one memorable occasion, Magnus had managed to persuade Alec to let him put makeup on him (Magnus could be  _ very _ convincing) and the two gave each other makeovers. Magnus’ turned out better due to him having more experience, but Alec hadn’t done too bad for it being his first time holding an eyeliner pencil in his life. In fact, he found that he quite liked applying Magnus’ makeup and started practicing on him more. 

They painted each other’s nails on several occasions, but Alec would only let Magnus paint colors on his toes as he didn’t want to draw added attention to himself in class by having it visible on his fingers and he didn’t like how easily it chipped. But this was alright because Alec let Magnus know that every time the fluorescent lights gleamed off of the clear-coat on his fingers it reminded him of just one more special secret the two of them shared.

Eventually, Magnus got to meet Jace in-person when he flew back to the city for a visit. He came by the loft and had dinner and drinks with them and did the sibling thing of trying to embarrass the hell out of Alec. Most of the stuff Jace told Magnus had already been exposed to him by Izzy, but the award-winning actor reacted to it as if he were hearing it for the first time. 

By the end of the night, Jace was regularly smiling over at his brother, almost as happy that Alec had found Magnus as Alec was himself. He’d sort of seen them together when Alec had introduced him to Magnus and had been privy to their bickering and flirtatious distractions via headset while the three of them gamed together, but this was Jace’s first real experience seeing them as a couple with his own eyes. It meant the world to Alec that two of the most important men in his life—definitely the two he was closest with—got along.

As Jace went to say his goodbyes that night, he gave Magnus a friendly casual hug before wrapping his brother in a bearhug. “I’m serious dude,” he whispered in Alec’s ear, “you just let me know and I’ll start helping you look for rings.”

“For sure,” Alec whispered back, chuckling. Maybe not right now or any time soon, but he had a feeling that someday he’d be taking Jace up on that offer.

***

Towards the end of January, Ragnor told Magnus that he would need to fly out to L.A. because he had landed a role to voice and do the motion-capture for a video game. All of it would take a couple of weeks, but Magnus promised to be back in time for Valentine’s Day. Alec missed him terribly, but he had Chairman to keep him company at night and school, his sister, and even Clary to keep him occupied during the day. During this time apart, he and Magnus would Skype almost every night before Alec went to bed to talk about each other’s day, do a mental health check-in, and spend what time they could together. It was also during this time that Alec discovered just how sexy a webcam could be and he and Magnus started to send each other some rather risque photos and text messages that made Alec blush to think about.

Just as he had promised, Magnus made it home in time to celebrate Valentine’s Day, landing at JFK the night before. Nervous excitement filled Alec as he balanced everything on the tray in front of him. He and Magnus had made each other breakfast in bed in the past, but Alec had never gone to this extent before. In preparation for the holiday, Alec had spent the last week learning how to make special pancakes and orchestrating the perfect gift for his boyfriend. He had recruited both of his siblings, Clary, and both Ragnor and Catarina to help with all of it.

Setting the tray down on his empty side of the bed, Alec walked around to the opposite side to wake Magnus up. Leaning over him, Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus’ forehead and hummed a gentle “Good morning, valentine.” 

“Good morning,” Magnus croaked sleepily, still tuckered out from the flight back and adjusting to the time difference. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

It seemed as though he was about to go back to sleep when Alec saw the exact moment Magnus’ nose detected the smell of breakfast. “What did you do?” he asked playfully. Magnus blinked his bleary eyes open and smiled up at Alec. He wiped the sleep from the corners of his eyes and yawned, trying to wake himself up. “I made you breakfast,” Alec answered softly, helping Magnus sit up.

Finally able to see the setup Alec had brought him, Magnus looked between the tray and his boyfriend as though he might cry from how touched he was. Pulling the tray over to him, he could see the full spread. There was a single red rose in a slim glass vase with a card beside it on one side and a cup of coffee from his favorite coffee shop. In the middle was a plate stacked with red velvet pancakes shaped like hearts drizzled in a cream cheese glaze and on the side was a plate of bacon cooked just the way he liked it. “You’re far too good to me, Alexander,” he swooned.

Before digging in, he opened the card. Breaking the seal on the envelope he pulled out a card with Magnus’ favorite photo of Alec holding a much-smaller Chairman Meow in his hands while the two of them looked at each other on its cover. Inside were the words “I want to spend all nine of my lives with you” signed “Love always, Alec.” Magnus quickly pulled Alec in and kissed him through tears of happiness.

After feeding each other bites of pancakes, they tidied up and hopped through the shower to get ready for the day. Magnus had booked them a special Valentine’s Day couple’s spa that, despite having to travel to it separately, was at a place frequented by celebrities and those of the upper-crust, so they had a very strict privacy policy. Once there, Magnus and Alec were shown to the room where they would be receiving a couple’s massage together. 

Since they still had a good stretch of time yet before their masseuses were scheduled to arrive, Magnus and Alec decided to take advantage of the other amenities provided to them. Soon they sat facing each other in a large jacuzzi bubble bath filled with rose petals with their legs comfortably tangled together, sipping flutes of champagne. “To us,” Magnus toasted, holding his glass up in the air. “To us,” Alec toasted back, clinking their glasses together. 

And if things deteriorated into them splashing and blowing handfuls of bubbles at each other only to break down laughing as both of them ended up with rose petals stuck in their hair, well, who could judge them?

***

Hours later, they arrived back at the loft (separately, of course) and Alec had a surprise waiting. While he and Magnus had been getting pampered, their friends had been getting the apartment set up for a romantic dinner. Alec arrived home first to thank them and take everything over. Also, he wanted to see Magnus’ face when he walked in and saw all of it.

Sure enough, when Magnus walked in his jaw dropped. The setup was very reminiscent of their first date but this time there were more candles, a large bouquet of roses, and their food was already plated for them, having just been finished not too long ago and kept warm by metal covers.

“I had some help,” Alec said sheepishly as Magnus looked at him in awe. “I owe some favors, but luckily everything got finished in time for us to get back and no one is missing out on any evening Valentine’s Day plans.”

Slowly walking over to him, Magnus looped his arms around Alec’s neck. “You continue to surprise me, Alexander,” he said breathily, gazing into Alec’s eyes.

“In good ways, I hope,” Alec responded, wrapping his arms around Magnus and holding him close.

“Always,” Magnus answered, pulling Alec down into a kiss.

Cutting themselves off before they got too carried away and forgot about dinner entirely, Alec led Magnus to the dining room by the hand and pulled out his chair for him like a proper gentleman. “I really do love you, Alexander,” Magnus gushed as Alec then pushed his chair in for him. Alec blushed and took his seat across from him.

Lifting the lid off of the food, Magnus was struck once more by the lengths to which Alec went for him. He was so very used to being the one always giving and never receiving, so to have someone like Alec in his life who was so genuine and gave without a thought of what he could get in return was new and refreshing and reminded him that not everyone was as shallow and calculating as he had grown to believe. “This is Catarina’s special beef wellington!” he gasped.

“You mentioned how it was one of your favorites,” Alec replied. “She said she would make it for us if we babysat Madzie every once in a while. I told her that was more than fair.” He adored Madzie when he met her and would be more than happy to play with her for a few hours again. 

They tucked into their dinner, reminiscing about how much they had enjoyed their day together and how good those massages, facials, and pedicures had felt. After they had finished, Alec cleared their dishes and brought out some dessert: french vanilla ice cream and chocolate-covered strawberries. “You’re going to spoil me rotten,” Magnus joked as Alec set his bowl down in front of him. “You really went all out. You know you didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I wanted it to be special,” Alec admitted. “It’s our first Valentine’s day together.”

“The first of many, I hope,” Magnus said with a smile. Alec smiled and nodded, reaching across the table to hold Magnus’ hand.

“If it’s alright, I do have one more thing for you,” Alec said tentatively. “Don’t worry,” he reassured Magnus, seeing a ‘this is too much’ look on his face. “It isn’t anything as extravagant as all of this.”

Reaching into his pocket with his free hand, Alec pulled out his phone. “I had to get some help from Clary and my siblings because I don’t really know music too well.” Clicking and scrolling a few times, music soon began floating through the speakers in the apartment. “You know how in those ’80s and '90s movies we love how the one character will make the person they like a mix-tape? Well…”

His voice trailed off as he flipped his phone around and passed it to Magnus. Magnus picked it up and scrolled through the list of songs Alec had put together. “They all remind me of you or you and me,” Alec explained, circling his thumb on the back of Magnus’ hand. “I even found that one song you said you liked but didn’t know the name of. The one that plays when Nico and Levi kiss in the back of the ambulance.”

Taking another moment to look back through the songs with a smile, Magnus set the phone on the table and stood up. Walking around the table, extended his arm out to Alec. “Dance with me, Alexander.”

Alec starts bouncing his leg anxiously. “I don’t know how,” he says nervously. Magnus had trained as a dancer for years and played more than one dancing role in his career, and Alec was worried about messing up so horribly he undid the entire day.

“Trust me,” Magnus said reassuringly. “We’ll go slow and I’ll lead.”

Slowly, Alec got to his feet to join him. Taking the phone with, they went to a more spacious area of the loft. Magnus scrolled to one of the slower-paced songs and pressed play. Seconds later, “Animal” by Troye Sivan began to play and Magnus got them into position. “Just follow my lead,” he instructed. Having Alec first put his arm around him, Magnus repeated the motion and linked their free hands together.

It wasn’t anything too fancy and they more or less just swayed with one another, perfectly content to be in each other’s arms, with Magnus resting his chin on Alec’s shoulder. Alec stepped on his toes a few times, but Magnus felt as though he was walking on air and barely noticed.

As the song drew to a close, still holding each other tight, Magnus whispered a ‘thank you’ in Alec’s ear and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He then continued to whisper a whole manner of dirty things he was going to do to Alec as a way of showing his appreciation and grinned like a maniac at the little whine that escaped from between Alec’s lips.

Both boyfriends finished off Valentine’s evening extremely well satiated, feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries as they laid in bed cuddling and watching a pirated movie.

***

The rest of February and all of March was just as smooth sailing. Alec focused on school, Magnus finished up what he needed to for the video game and started to do some promo work for his and Izzy’s movie, and in between they watched Madzie, had friends over for dinner parties, spoiled their cat, and overall continued their routine secret love affair. Alec even came up with a new pet name for Magnus (“my prince”) one night when Madzie was sleeping over, although he only used it on occasion. He’d just crawled into bed after reading Madzie bedtime story after bedtime story and, feeling particularly sappy, perhaps due to thoughts of what raising children with Magnus would be like, he’d remarked on how Magnus was like his storybook prince.

But all good things must come to an end.

The morning of April first started out normally enough. Alec’s Google alarm woke him up so that he could start to get ready for school, and as per usual, he fought back against it, not willing to leave the warm comfort of bed quite yet. Turning to his side, he could see that Magnus was still fast asleep and listened to his deep, even breathing. Sunlight trickled in through the glossy curtains on the windows, and the way that Magnus was illuminated in it took Alec’s breath away.

“You’re staring,” murmured a barely coherent Magnus, not turning to face Alec and nustling into his pillow. 

“I can’t help it,” Alec replied, his voice just above a whisper. “The way the sunlight touches your skin...I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful in my life.” As he said it, Alec scooted closer to Magnus so that he could plant gentle kisses along his back and neck and shoulders.

“You’ve said that a few times,” Magnus chuckled, letting himself be pliant to his boyfriend’s affections.

“And I’ve meant it every time,” Alec states proudly, nuzzling the nape of Magnus’ neck with his nose.

“One of the many reasons that I love you,” Magnus affirmed, feeling tingles run down his spine. But just as Alec’s hand was trailing its way along his abdomen and down the front of his boxer briefs, he snatched it up and pushed it back towards the human it belonged to. “You’re gonna be late,” Magnus grumbled, still half-asleep. “Go get ready.”

“Fiiiine,” Alec groaned in mock exasperation. Rolling back on his half of the bed, he reached for his phone to turn it on and check how much time he had left to get ready. As soon as the phone started to boot up, Alec was hit with a flood of notifications for missed calls, what had to be at least a hundred new text messages, and a notification that his voicemail box was full. “What the fuck?” he mumbled, navigating to his voicemails. 

The first voicemail Alec listened to was from his sister, but too frantic for him to properly make out what she was saying, and the others she left weren’t any better. He pointedly skipped over the calls from his mother and father, as it was far too early in the morning to deal with whatever grief they were bound to dish out at him. There were multiple voicemails from different numbers Alec didn’t recognize as well, and that only added to his growing unease. Seeing that Jace had left him a few voicemails as well, Alec listened to those next.

The first three voicemails were just him begging Alec to pick up and to call him back when he got this. The last one was longer than the others. “Look, man,” Jace’s voice said, sounding frazzled as all hell, “I really hope that you hear this from me before you hear it from some rando on the street or worse, so I really need you to look at the texts I just sent you. Please try not to lose it entirely. I love you, and I’m going to be with you through this thing every set of the way. Please call me back and let me know you’re alright. Call Izzy too. She’s the one who woke me up when she couldn’t reach you and let me know of the situation. We’re here for you, Alec. You and Magnus both.”

Now thoroughly scared out of his mind, Alec did as Jace asked and went to find the most recent texts his brother had sent. Seeing so many texts from his family and even Clary and Catarina sent his heart rate skyrocketing. Finding Jace’s name in his inbox, Alec’s anxiety only grew as he scrolled past text after text asking him if he was alright, telling him to call him ASAP, etc.

Finally, Alec reached a series of messages that were just links to multiple different URLs. All he had to prepare himself was that he recognized the websites that Jace had sent him links to as being news sites. Taking a deep breath, Alec clicked on the first link and nearly dropped his phone as he froze in horror at what he saw.

“Darling?” Magnus coaxed him, his attention having been drawn by the initial incessant buzzing at the influx of notification. He’d woken up entirely and sat up by the time Alec had finished listening to Jace’s last voicemail. “Darling, what is it? What happened?”

“Magnus…” Alec whimpered as he handed the phone to Magnus with a trembling hand.

Ringing filled Magnus’ ears as he stared at the phone equally as horrified as Alec was. For right there on the screen in front of him was a photo of him and Alec taken from outside the loft looking in while they had their arms wrapped around each other mid-kiss, a hint of a smile frozen on Alec’s face. They clearly had just woken up because in the photo Magnus had on his blue silk robe and Alec was only in his underwear and one of the t-shirts he slept in. 

Underneath the picture in big black letters was the headline:

**Magnus Bane’s Secret Romance with Co-star’s Brother:**

**What They’ve Been Hiding for Months**

  
  


Magnus swallowed hard. “Oh fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for reading <3 To anyone who is curious, I'm going to list the songs on Alec's playlist for Magnus below. One of them is going to return later on ;)
> 
> "Animal" - Troye Sivan  
> "First Day Of My Life" - Bright Eyes  
> "Always" - Panic! At The Disco  
> "Time After Time" - Tyler Ward  
> "Beneath Your Beautiful" - Labrinth, Emeli Sandé  
> "Latch - Acoustic" - Sam Smith  
> "Screen" - Twenty One Pilots  
> "I Like Me Better" - Lauv  
> "This Year's Love" - David Gray  
> "Us" - James Bay  
> "Change Your Mind - Stripped" - Jack Vallier  
> "Something I Need" - Ben Haenow  
> "Bridges" - Aisha Badru  
> "arms" - Christina Perri  
> "The End of All Things" - Panic! At The Disco  
> "I Know A Place" - MUNA  
> "All I Want" - Echos


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The media circus begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies! Brace yourselves for this one, cus it effectively broke the heart of my wonderful beta, Nannette. It's a bit shorter than the other four, but I felt as though it needn't be any longer than it is and any more would just be padding.
> 
> Thank you all so much for showing my fic some love <3

Alec paced frantically back and forth across the room while Magnus stayed sitting on the bed, scrolling through article after article. “Oh my god, Alexander!” he exclaimed after clicking the final link. It led to a site known to publish what most other news, entertainment, and gossip rags had at least some dignity not to. What he found made him sick to his stomach. “They don’t just have photos of us kissing. They have our text messages. They have our nudes. Once everyone figures out that this isn’t just some April Fool’s Day joke, these are going to be everywhere.”

“Fuck!” Alec screamed in frustration, grabbing fistfuls of his hair. The world knew about him. The world knew about them. Hell, by tomorrow the entire world was going to know what he looked like naked. It was too much. It was just too much. “My parents don’t know I’m gay,” he choked out. Magnus knew, of course, but Alec wasn’t thinking clearly. “Now everyone knows. Now everyone knows everything.”

“Not to sound like a dick,” Magnus deadpanned, “but I was just outed to the world and to my father too.” Alec stopped packing and spun on his heel to face him. He’d never seen Magnus look so lost and so small before. “I’m sorry,” he croaked, feeling extremely selfish. “You’re right…”

Sinking to the floor, Alec dug his fingers into his hair again and started rocking back and forth in an effort to self-soothe. This was all so fucked up. How had someone gotten those photos of them? How had they gotten into their phones? 

He stopped rocking when he felt Magnus’ hand on his back. Magnus had curled up next to Alec there on the floor beside him. “We need to get ahead of this,” Magnus said in a grave voice. “I’m sure that Ragnor and Raphael will be here soon enough to start on damage control. No doubt my father will be on the first flight to New York he can get with his own people.” 

After he finished, Magnus seemed to deflate. He dropped his hand from Alec’s back and slid it down along his arm reaching for his hand. “Please don’t leave me, Alec,” Magnus begged in a whisper. “I can’t do this by myself.”

Unable to find words anymore, Alec took Magnus’ hand and squeezed it hard. Although he hadn’t said it, Magnus knew what the gesture meant. 

_ I’m not going anywhere. _

***

In the next couple of hours, once Magnus and Alec had gotten their shit together, they talked everything over with Ragnor and Magnus’ lawyer, Raphael. He was younger than Alec but quick to inform him that he had graduated from law school at 18 and had been practicing ever since he'd seen the look of concern on Alec’s face. Judging from the lawyer’s grouchy face and no-nonsense demeanor, Alec thought that the two of them might make good friends one day if he didn’t bite Alec’s head off before then.

The star-crossed lovers sat on the couch in the living room, hands gripped tightly while both used their free one to pet Chairman where he lay across their adjoining legs. The feline seemed to have an uncanny ability to tell that they were in need of some comfort. Raphael sat upright in the lounge chair across from them while Ragnor paced back and forth in between them. They needed to know the full story of Magnus and Alec’s relationship in order to formulate a plan of action going forward. Once the whole story had been fleshed out from beginning to present, Raphael relaxed his uptight, rigid posture and Ragnor slowed the length of his strides.

“I’ll do my best to battle the “Freedom of the Press” brigade,” Raphael informed them. “I’ll go so far as to get an injunction if I have to. Shouldn’t be too hard seeing as both of your phones were hacked. We should consider taking legal action against the perpetrator or perpetrators.”

“If we ever figure out who it is,” Magnus grumbled. These kinds of hackers could be sneaky and he’d seen too many stars never get justice for this level of invasion of privacy.

Ignoring him, Raphael pressed on. “Now, due to the extent of all of this, I have to ask: have either of you received any type of blackmail message? It could have been a voicemail, an email, or the old-fashioned way of being slipped under the door or in your mailbox.” His perpetual frown deepened when they both denied ever having received such a thing.

Ragnor sighed deeply, finally coming to a stop. “Gentlemen, I’d love to tell you that this will all be chalked up to a holiday trick and old news by the end of the week, but that simply isn’t the case. I’ve had people monitoring social media and while there may have been some doubts at first, the story and materials have garnered enough interest that they are trending across the globe with no signs of slowing down. This is the type of scandal that follows you around for years.” Magnus grimaced noticeably, knowing first hand the type of scandals Ragnor was referring to. 

Before either of them had too long to absorb Ragnor’s words, the doorbell rang. Magnus and Alec looked at each other and then to Ragnor. Magnus and Ragnor locked eyes, the same dark expression shared between them. The doorbell rang again followed by three solid knocks on the door. Magnus went to stand, but Ragnor placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down. “I’ve got this,” he assured his friend, then briskly walking over to the front door. 

Just out of sight, Ragnor opened the front door and greeted the person standing behind it. “Ah, Asmodeus,” his voice carried into the living room, “I was wondering when you’d be joining us.” Alec saw something like fear flicker to life behind Raphael’s eyes and could feel Magnus starting to get increasingly anxious. He let go of his hand in favor of pulling Magnus in closer to him and giving him a reassuring squeeze. Magnus smiled up at him gratefully.

Two sets of footsteps echoed through the apartment drawing nearer and nearer until Ragnor had returned to the living room with Asmodeus Bane in tow. Asmodeus soon overtook the man to come to stand in front of Alec and his son. The way that he stood large and imposing above them made Alec feel two inches tall, and experiencing it firsthand made Alec feel even more sympathetic for Magnus and what he’d lived through having this man as a father. It instinctively made him pull Magnus closer still and wrap his arms around him protectively.

“So,” bellowed Asmodeus, “this is the infamous Alec Lightwood. I’d love to say that my son has told me wonderful things about you, however, if that had been the case I likely wouldn’t be here right now. Unfortunately for both of you, this is the first that I am hearing of this...relationship.” The way that he said the word ‘relationship’, as if it didn’t or shouldn’t apply to what he and Magnus had made Alec bristle.

Asmodeus turned his sole focus on his son. “I told you the last time that you needed to be more careful,” he chided. “I thought you had learned after that Imasu boy. I guess I was mistaken.”

Magnus shook his head vehemently. “Dad, I was careful. We never went anywhere together. No one should have been able to link us together.”

A hiss of air escaped from Asmodeus’ gritted teeth as he exhaled. “Not careful enough.” His eyes then flickered over to Alec. “I bet this has all been a fun time for you, dating a big-time celebrity,” his voice condemning. “I bet you loved going home and telling all of your friends what it’s like to date Magnus Bane, bragging about all of the money he’s spent on you or how good he is in bed. In fact, I bet it’s one of them who leaked this all to the press. All you had to do was stand in the right places to be photographed and send a few screenshots. Well, it’s over. You’ve tarnished Magnus’ reputation, likely sunk your own sister’s movie and any chance of her being hired in Hollywood ever again, and I will personally see to it that nobody will ever hire you to write so much as a cat food commercial.”

Eyes wide and mouth agape, Alec stared up at Asmodeus incredulously. The very notion of what he was insinuating was beyond insulting. As if Alec could ever  _ think _ to do that to anyone, much less to Magnus. “Fuck you.”

He hadn’t meant to say it, the words escaping Alec’s lips before he could stop himself, but it was too late. “Excuse me?” Asmodeus demanded, looking as if Alec had physically struck him.

One look at Magnus and Alec decided ‘ _ the hell with it _ .’ Letting go of Magnus, Alec rose to his feet. Magnus wasn’t short by any means, but Alec stood at an impressive 6’3”. Asmodeus was about an inch or so taller than his son, so while Alec still taller he didn’t surpass the man by much. And the power and anger radiating off of the man made it feel as though they stood about equal. Regardless of it being a draw in terms of intimidation, Alec was pissed off and past the point of caring.

“I said,” Alec repeated, “fuck you. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t know me or anything about me, which—I get—is part of the problem. But I love Magnus. Why the ever-loving fuck would I do anything to hurt him like that? After everything that he’s been through. I didn’t start dating your son just because he’s a celebrity. I started dating him because he’s the only one I can talk to about anything. The only people I’ve told about us is my brother. We told my sister and a mutual friend of ours together. And that’s it. My roommate knows but he doesn’t have the balls to do something like this, especially when he’s legally bound by an NDA. I never even told my own parents that I’m gay. So yes, fuck you if you think that I had any hand in hurting the man I love. I’d do anything for him.”

Those last words were a bad choice. Alec felt it in his gut the moment that Asmodeus go a sort of twinkle in his eye. “If you truly do love and would do anything for my son,” Asmodeus insinuated, “then you will pack your bags right now, go back to campus, and stay there. Maybe once this whole situation blows past you two will be able to see each other again. But for now, the two of you together is just fodder for the masses and clearly, this apartment isn’t anywhere near private enough. And I doubt that Magnus would be able to stay with you in your room for as long as it will take to get this figured out. Go home and stay there. Go to classes. Don’t say a word about anything to anyone and both of you might just make it out of this in one piece.”

Alec wanted to protest. To tell Asmodeus that Magnus and this loft were his home. To tell him to fuck off back to L.A. and let them deal with everything with Ragnor and Raphael. Unfortunately, the bastard was right. The whole arrangement had been compromised and no doubt more photographers would be searching for clever ways to peek into their lives. “Fine,” he snapped. He grabbed Magnus by the hand and pulled him into the bedroom with him.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked in small voices as Alec aggressively dug his clothes out from drawers and pulled them out of the closet. He spun around on his heel, grabbed ahold of either side of Magnus’ face, and kissed him hard. Magnus was startled at first by the force of it but was quick to kiss Alec back just as hard once he’d gotten his bearings. “He’s right,” Alec growled lowly when their heads came to rest together in the aftermath. “He’s right, and I fucking hate it.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Magnus pleaded. “You're not supposed to go. I want you to stay.”

“I want to stay too,” Alec insisted, “but I can’t without feeling like I’m responsible for anything else that happens. Any more photos being taken of us. I can’t be the reason that you get hurt anymore. I love you too much.” His heart ached at the thought of anything more happening to Magnus. “I'm leaving the loft, but I'm not leaving you. It will only be for a little while. After all of this dies down, I’ll come back. We’ll pick right back up where we left off, even if I am the one that has to wear a disguise now or we get blackout curtains and never open the windows again. You’re my whole world, Magnus. And I want to be with you however I can until the day the sun burns out.”

“I’ll love you long after that,” Magnus declared and pulled his boyfriend back into another kiss. Well, a multitude of kisses really, some short, some long. Alec had the thought that if there weren’t three people out in the other room he’d happily take this much, much further. Seemingly reading his mind, Magnus pulled him towards the master bathroom. “If we’re quick and quiet, we can chalk our absence up to packing.”

“But my suitcase is still in the guest room.” Alec really had no idea why he protested, seeing as he very much wanted this too.

“Use one of mine,” Magnus said resolutely, pulling a now more-than-convinced Alec in for another kiss that didn’t end until both of their pants were down. “Is it wrong I found you telling my dad off so hot?” he moaned before quickly getting back to kissing Alec.

Breaking away, Alec snorted. "Trust me," he said, breathing heavily, "I'd be more than happy to do it again."

***

If Asmodeus hadn’t already been at the top of Alec’s shit-list to begin with, then he earned his place there as Alec went to leave. As he and Magnus were hugging and kissing each other goodbye, the man felt that was the appropriate time to tell them that they wouldn’t be able to have any contact with one another until they figured out who hacked their phones. Alec was seeing red after that and surprised that Asmodeus didn’t combust into flames under the heat and intensity that both he and Magnus were scowling at the man. After a hug that neither of them wanted to let go of, Alec left to brace a world without Magnus. A world that had its eyes trained directly on him.

Maneuvering to get to the car Asmodeus had waiting for Alec was like stepping out into an open snow-covered field with the sun shining directly down on to it. He couldn’t see a thing through the blinding white lights of camera flashes. Thank god for Gabriel who helped guide him to the car, opened the door, and helped him with his suitcase. By the five o’clock news, his apparent moving out was the next big “installment” in the “case” of his and Magnus’ relationship.

The next morning, Asmodeus seemed to be on everyone else’s shit-list as well. He at least had joined Alec and his son in making the headlines:

**Asmodeus to Alec: “Stay away from my son!”**

Somehow, someone had figured out that it was Asmodeus who had been responsible for Alec leaving. Not only that, but somehow, the site that had been responsible for making Alec and Magnus’ X-rated photos public,  _ Celebrities Exposed! _ , had been able to report the entire confrontation almost verbatim.

Izzy had been the one to send Alec the link which Alec then passed on to Ragnor. He didn’t get a reply until later after he had pushed past a crowd of paparazzi who had been lying in wait for him on his way to and from class. “ _ Magnus’ apartment has been bugged _ ,” it read. 

“What the fuck?” Alec whispered to himself. Was that a normal thing for paparazzi to do? When would they have been able to do it? How did they get into the apartment? He pondered this while searching through his own dorm room for any hidden microphones. Luckily, there didn’t seem to be any, but Alec made Raj check his side of the room just to be sure.

Over the next several days, more and more stories come out. Maybe it was just his anxious mind making him paranoid, but Alec swore that they were mostly directed at him, scrutinizing him for things he had no idea anyone else knew about him, much less how the press got a hold of it. 

Because the universe had a dark, dark sense of humor, that following week when the “Malec” hype was at its highest, news of Robert Lightwood’s affair with one of his interns broke as well. Alec had no idea if it had anything to do with the situation with him and Magnus, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was. He had no idea how to process any of it and wished more than anything else that he could talk to Magnus and open up about all of the thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of him. If there was a silver lining, however, it was that Alec could stop ducking his parents’ calls, as they now had their own crisis to deal with, and he was able to talk to Jace and Izzy a bit about everything. It wasn’t as much as if he’d been talking with Magnus, but it was a minor miracle in itself, one that didn’t go unnoticed by his siblings either.

Some reprieve from the mandated distance between them came when Ragnor stopped by Alec’s dorm one day and handed him a burner phone. “This is to be used in case of emergency,” he informed the young man. “Magnus has one as well. We still don’t know how someone gained access to both of your phones, so we don’t know whether or not they can do it again. However, I don’t think complete radio silence is benefitting you or Magnus mentally. You two can talk for one hour tonight—keep it clean—but after that, use it sparingly. Preferably only if you absolutely have to.”

Looking between Ragnor and the phone in his hand, Alec had no idea what to say. So instead he stood up and wrapped his arms around the man, squeezing him tight. “Alright, alright, that’s enough!” Ragnor insisted, but only because he couldn’t breathe. He patted Alec on the back and left him to it, tapping his wristwatch as a reminder.

Hearing Magnus’ voice again after over a week was enough to bring tears to Alec’s eyes. He’d gone from seeing the man of his dreams almost 24/7 to no contact, and it had been killing him inside. They both cried as they relayed what had happened in the time since Alec had left, and it hadn’t been easy for either of them. Alec wanted nothing more than to hold Magnus tight and tell him that everything would be alright, but he’d have to settle for an hour-long phone conversation they pushed to two hours and would have gone longer if someone on Magnus’ end, presumably Asmodeus, hadn’t ripped the phone from Magnus’ hand and hung up. 

Alec was doing his best to pretend as if everything was normal in order to focus on school, but the hordes of people—paparazzi and students alike—always waiting and wanting to talk to him, bombarding him with questions was taking a toll on him mentally. The students, who all of a sudden didn’t want to be his best friend, were making Alec’s life hell as well. One day while their professor had stepped out of the room, a group in the back of the room had a conversation loud enough for anyone to hear about Alec’s obvious attempts to gain nepotism and how pathetic they were. Alec spent the rest of that class dry heaving in the bathroom and crying. He’d been tempted to call Magnus to talk it out, but thought better of it, reasoning that this wasn’t important enough to bother him with and put Magnus at any more risk.

Things hit their fever pitch not long after when Raj sat down with someone from  _ Celebrities Exposed! _ to do a tell-all exposé on Alec and Magnus to provide everyone with an “inside scoop.” And the things that he said were not kind. Things such as, “They’d kick me out of the room so that they could have sex, even if I was in the middle of doing homework,” or, Alec’s personal favorite, “Alec always thought that he was better than everybody else. He was too good and too self-important to talk to anyone or hang out with anybody else. How he manipulated Magnus into being in a relationship with him I’ll never know.” Alec didn’t think he could ever even look at Raj again after that, feeling deeply disgusted at the lows a person could sink too.

Still feeling mentally and emotionally fragile, Alec was not prepared to be swarmed by paparazzi out of nowhere when he stepped out to take a walk and get some comfort food. The school had banned them from the grounds due to the disturbance they caused other students, so Alec had thought that he would be able to do so in peace. Not seeing them waiting just off campus gave him a false sense of security that they had finally given up, one that was sadly shattered the moment he stepped foot off campus.

He had no idea where they had come from or where they had been hiding, but all of a sudden paparazzi swarmed Alec like a horde of angry bees. Through the flashes, Alec could see that at least one person was holding a video camera. “Alec! Alec!” all of them shouted, talking over one another to try to get his attention. The cacophony of noise mixed with the blinding flashes were going to send Alec over the edge.

“Why did Magnus pick you?”

“Was a famous sister not enough?”

“Who tops and who bottoms?”   
  


“Are you two actually in love?”

Alec had just turned to flee back to his room when one person’s question hit him like a freight train had pile-drived him into arctic waters. “How does it feel knowing that your brother is dead because of you?”

Spinning around to see who had asked the question while at the same time feeling as if all the air had left his lungs, Alec’s eyes frantically took in the faces in the crowd, trying to determine who had said it. He found the man when he spoke again. “I said,” the man repeated, “What’s it like knowing Max is dead because of you?” His face was sharp and angular and his eyes were cold and predatory. Something was off about his platinum blond hair, but Alec couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He didn’t have time to process it though before everyone around the man started asking who Max was and if Alec had killed him and why.

Backing away towards the safety of campus grounds, Alec held the man’s gaze as it bored into his soul. The guilt and the pain began to hit him all at once and while trying to get away, Alec’s heel hit an uneven piece of sidewalk, tripping him and sending him sprawling to the ground. The wind was knocked out of him as his back hit and his hands stung as the cement scraped the skin like sandpaper when he tried breaking his fall. Despite his best efforts, the back of Alec’s head did end up bouncing off the ground as well. But that hardly mattered.

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Alec saw that the cameras had captured everything and his face flushed in embarrassment. But when he saw the man who had first asked about Max maliciously grinning down at him, that was it. Suddenly he realized that every one of them was looking at him in disgust or pity or hatred as they fired off more and more questions about his brother and it was all too much.

Part of him knew that it was only going to be used against him later, but Alec didn’t care. Everything inside of him  _ hurt  _ in a way it hadn’t since he’d confided in Magnus and he couldn’t take it anymore. Pulling his knees up into his chest, Alec curled himself into a ball and cried.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually, Alec was prompted to his feet by Jace and Izzy while Clary stood in front of the cameras cursing the whole lot of them.

“We’ve got you, Alec,” Jace assured him, leaning his brother’s weight on him.

  
Izzy slung Alec’s other arm over her shoulders to help keep him propped up as well. “We’re going to take good care of you,  _ hermano _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much if you have stuck with this story up until now. Your support means everything to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt, comfort, and mistakes made right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So here's the scoop: I am not sure when I will be finishing up this story. I go back to school in a matter of days and I do not know when I will have time to work on it. But I promise that I will try my best to get it to you whenever it is that I can. Please just be patient with me. <3
> 
> Until then, be good people <3

Back in his dorm room, Jace and Izzy held Alec until he stopped crying. In the meantime, Clary made sure he stayed hydrated and set about raiding the vending machines for junk food and ordering pizza to be delivered. Despite his total mental exhaustion, Alec had never seen so clearly how wrong he had been in shutting these people out of his life. But once those walls had been built it took a force as strong and unexpected as Magnus to break them down again. Now, he was as emotionally vulnerable as he had always feared, but those around him weren’t judging him. They didn’t think he was weak or pity him—they sympathized, empathized even.

“Thank you,” Alec croaked out, his voice hoarse from sobbing. “Thank you for this.”

“Alec,” Jace said, squeezing one of his shoulders, “there’s nothing to thank us for. We love you.”

“You’re our big brother,” Izzy added, hugging him a bit tighter and resting her head on his shoulder. “You’ve spent so long taking care of us. Let us return the favor for once.”

Alec smiled and nodded, counting his blessings for the amazing people in his life. It fell, however, as a twinge of pain ripped through his heart. There was still one more person he needed, needed in the way he needed air. And right now, he couldn’t have him.

***

A ways across the city, Magnus sat curled up on the couch, flipping through the channels with little interest. Beside him, Chairman Meow curled up as close to him as the cat could get since he couldn’t lay in Magnus’ lap with the way Magnus was sitting. Chairman had become especially clingy, and Magnus wasn’t sure if it was because the feline could tell that Magnus was depressed and miserable, or if he missed Alec as much as his daddy. Probably both.

In another room behind them, Asmodeus was on the phone, barking orders. Both he and Magnus were being put through the wringer with this whole debacle, and it had studios spooked. They didn’t want to have a dark cloud hanging over their heads with the drama currently surrounding the two actors that might bring scrutiny and trouble their way as well. Asmodeus had been on the phone for most of the time he’d been staying at Magnus’. When he wasn’t he was asleep, out schmoozing and trying to save face, or acting passive-aggressively toward his son. Magnus didn’t know what was worse, having his father there constantly tearing him down or being left all alone. Ever since Asmodeus had come to domineer over Magnus’ life, the only friend he saw in person anymore was Ragnor, and only for business matters. It made Magnus feel like one of those princesses hidden away from the world in some tower. And to think, he was the one who Alec compared to the heroic prince who comes to save the day.

Because Magnus had been missing Alec so terribly, he thought that he was just seeing things when Alec’s face flickered across the TV screen. But just to be sure he was, in fact, finally losing his mind, Magnus went back a few channels to double-check. 

If it was Alec, chances were that the stations were just playing the same stories and photos over again, but if it was anything new, Magnus wanted to be in the know. It most definitely was not healthy to be so caught up in what was being said about them, but Magnus always was a glutton for punishment. Hadn’t that been why he stayed with that narcissistic monster of a woman as long as he had?

Upon reaching the channel, Magnus promptly dropped the TV remote, sending the batteries rolling underneath the couch, and shot to his feet. This footage was new and it was awful. There, on the screen in front of him, the man that Magnus would pay any price to protect was shown being hounded by reporters until he shut down completely. They were asking about Max. Yes, the boy’s death was a matter of public record, but who the fuck would ask about something like that and how the hell did they know that Alec was involved?

Tears stung Magnus’ eyes as he watched Alec, feeling completely useless at his inability to comfort his boyfriend. He wasn’t even listening to whatever the host was saying about the video. Magnus’ heart tore itself to shreds and for the briefest of moments, he thought that this must be the pain that a person felt for days before dying of a broken heart.

Relief flooded through Magnus, however, at the appearance of Jace, Izzy, and Clary. The clip rolled until Izzy and Jace had walked off a ways practically carrying their brother and froze on an image of Clary aggressively flipping off the cameras. “Way to go, Biscuit,” Magnus muttered in approval. If he and Alec made it through all of this in one piece, Magnus knew who he wanted to declare the godmother of at least one of their children. If they had children. If Alec wasn’t so traumatized by the paparazzi bring up the most painful topic of his life that he couldn’t bear to be around Magnus and more.

Just like that, the small blip of happiness Magnus felt died out like the last embers of a forest fire. He had known depression quite well in his life. It was an unwanted companion like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe that you could never quite scrape all the way off. And although Magnus never found himself in the position that other actors did in terms of struggling to find roles or even find a way to pay the bills, depression doesn’t give a shit what class you’re in. Mental illness doesn’t just go away because suddenly people know who you are and you have money. It just goes dormant, lying in wait to strike you in your moments of weakness. Therapy, medication, exercise, they all helped you to get a grip and regain some control, but the moment the earth shifted or you forget to lock the door behind you, that monster you have locked in the basement comes crawling right back out again.

Alec had been an extra set of locks on that metaphorical basement door. Granted, he hadn’t come along and suddenly Magnus was completely cured and no longer had any problems, that wasn’t realistic. However, Alec had come into his life with his own demons in tow carrying a second set of chains, and together they had managed to lock the monsters underground and reinforce the door with twice as many deadbolts. Now, that additional protection was gone and Magnus’ depression monster was picking the few that remained one by one.

Magnus made a decision then that he needed to see Alec. Enough was enough and his father could go to hell already. Running into his bedroom, he dug the burner phone Ragnor had gotten him out from its hiding place. After a moment’s hesitation, he dialed his boyfriend’s number.

***

“All I’m saying is you should really talk to mom,” Jace insisted, barely coherent with an entire mouth stuffed full of pizza.

“Say that again when I don’t have to worry about you choking on your food like a toddler,” Alec grimaced, wrinkling up his nose in disgust at the sight of the mashed up pizza in his brother’s mouth.

“Please, Alec,” Izzy pressed, looking at her big brother with pleading eyes. That had been the reason that all of them came to see him tonight. And while Alec would rather remove his own tonsils with a grapefruit spoon than face his mother knowing that he had told her a bald-faced lie amongst many, many lies of omission, he appreciated that the three of them had been in the right place at the right time.

“Fine,” Alec relented, shoving his plate away from him towards the box of pizza that sat in the middle of his bed. He had lost his appetite. “But just...just let me figure out what I’m going to say to her.”

“Don’t wait too long,” Clary cautioned. “The more you push facing your mother off, the worse it gets. Better to just get it done and over with.” Something told Alec that she spoke from personal experience.

Before Alec could answer her, a phone began ringing. All four checked their phones but it wasn’t coming from any of them. Then Alec remembered the phone Ragnor had given him and launched himself over the side of his bed to dig it out from one of his dresser drawers before it could go to voicemail. He got it just in the knick of time, answering with a (perhaps too loud) “Hello?”

_ “Alexander,”  _ Magnus more or less sighed into the receiver.

No words could quite describe the feeling of relief and warmth Alec felt hearing Magnus’ voice again. From the sound of it, Magnus felt the same. If he had any tears left, Alec would have been crying tears of joy.

“Magnus, I miss you so, so much,” Alec said, a lump forming in his throat. This was as close to perfect as things could get. He still wished he could see Magnus in person, but just hearing his voice, especially right now, made the hurt that much more bearable.

_ “I miss you too, Alexander. The bed's too big at night without you, my father is steadily pushing me to my breaking point, and Chairman really misses wedging himself between us.” _

“My bed doesn’t feel right without you in it either. I never thought a twin bed could feel so empty. And the room is empty most of the time now too. Raj is too much of a coward to face me but I don’t think I could bear having him here either. I miss Chairman too. I miss having him right there next to me when I do homework because he knows I’ll pet him when I inevitably get stressed out. Not to mention, after barely being able to leave the dorm I can no longer step a foot off campus.”

Magnus was quiet on the other end of the phone, long enough that Alec’s heart started racing. “Magnus?” he ventured, “Is there something wrong?” 

After another moment of silence, Magnus answered.  _ “That’s actually what I was calling to talk to you about,” _ he confessed in a heavy voice.  _ “I wanted to make sure that you were ok. I saw it all on TV and I knew that I needed to call and check up on you.” _

Alec swallowed hard around a new lump that had formed. Magnus had seen his emotional/mental/whatever breakdown broadcasted on television for the world to see. He bet that if he went online right now that it would be a trending topic on social media. How many people knew about Max now? How many people were speculating about his involvement? Alec suddenly sincerely regretted eating all that greasy pizza and junk food because he was 99.99% sure he was going to hurl.

_ “I know that this might be an impossible request,” _ Magnus’ voice came through the speaker, cutting through Alec’s mental turmoil,  _ “but do you think that you could make it to come to see me? I know that you have your brother and sister and Clary with you, and I don’t want to cut in on any time you might be spending with them, but I want you to come home tonight. I don’t want you to be alone. And I know that you could just as well go with any one of them but...please come home, Alexander. For me.” _

Magnus was pleading with him at the end. And under any other circumstances, Alec wouldn’t think to hesitate before running out the door to get to him. But if Alec was being honest with himself, he was scared. He couldn’t face the paparazzi again, not so soon. And he was scared of what Magnus would think of him. Sure, the first night that they had met Magnus had seen Alec break down in tears and cry over his brother, but that had been different. Alec had been opening up, not completely shutting down. He was scared that Magnus would look at him with pity or think that he was too broken and weak to date anymore.

“Um…” Alec hesitated after taking his own moment of silence. “I’ll...I’ll think about it.”

Silence once more. This had to be the quietest phone call that they had ever had, not counting the times they had fallen asleep after talking to one another for several hours.  _ “I understand,” _ Magnus said, breaking the quiet once more. “ _ Just...Please try, if you can.” _ The way in which he said it let Alec know just how rough of a place Magnus was in metally. He had said that his dad was driving him over the edge, but he hadn’t said how close he really was to falling over it. This only added to internal conflict swirling in Alec’s stomach.

“I will,” Alec replied, sincerely hoping that he was able to get his shit together and not let his boyfriend down. “I love you, Magnus.” The words suddenly felt extremely important to say. He hadn’t told Magnus since the day he had left, and Alec wanted to dispel any doubt that might have crept in in his wake. 

On the other end of the phone, Magnus’ breath hitched. Alec’s gut told him that he had been right about Magnus’ depression bringing out insecurities about their relationship.  _ “I love you too, Alexander,” _ Magnus responded, his voice heavy with emotion once more, only this time lighter emotions were mixed in as well.  _ “I love you so very, very much.” _

With that, Magnus hung up and Alec had little doubt that he was crying now. Guilt tore through Alec as he realized that it was his fault if Magnus was. If he wasn’t such a coward he could have assured Magnus that he would be there and been able to back those words up. Instead, he had clammed up on the one person he had never felt the need to do so with. God, Alec’s self-hatred was thriving today.

Looking back over at his bed, Alec saw three pairs of eyes watching him intently. Shame flooded through Alec’s body and he quickly dropped his head in submission. “I take it you guys heard all of that?”

“Alec…” Izzy began but never finished.

Shaking his head, Alec took a moment to assess whether he wanted to start pacing or curl up in a ball to comfort himself. Deciding on the latter, Alec rejoined his companions on the bed and pull his long legs in so tight that he only took up a tiny space. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “Magnus needs me and I...I need him too but…” Alec trailed off and rested his chin on his knees, still looking down at the comforter rather than meet anyone’s gaze.

Jace supplied his opinion: “I think you should go, Alec. I’m so happy that you let us help you, but Magnus has always been able to do something for you that we couldn’t. I think that this will be best for both of you.”

“But what about the paparazzi?” Alec asked. “What if there are still bugs in the loft that they didn’t find yet? What if more pictures get taken of us?” He wasn’t looking for excuses, as these were very real concerns for both him, Magnus, and everyone involved in this mess.

Izzy piped up first. “I might have a way to help both of you,” she said, earning her everyone’s undivided attention. “This new guy I’m seeing—Simon—when he isn’t trying to break into the music industry he works with computers for a friend of his who is a private investigator. I’ve been thinking about going to them ever since he told me, but I didn’t want to do anything without your permission.”

“Do you think they could help find who hacked our phones and bugged the place?” Alec asked, not wanting to get his hopes up lest this not work.

His sister nodded. “Maia is supposed to be the best in the business.”

“Do you mean Maia Roberts?” Clary asked, speaking up for the first time in a while. She was usually quite the chatter bug, but around Alec she was much quieter and subdued, not wanting to overwhelm him. 

Izzy looked at Clary with a raised brow. “Yeah, I do. Do you know her?”

The redhead flushed slightly. “We, uh, we were girlfriends once upon a time. It didn’t work out, but there isn’t any bad blood between us. But yeah, she is very good at what she does. Give her a scent and she’ll track down whoever you need her to find. And I’ve known Simon my entire life, and if there is a nerd that you want to have on your side, it’s him.”

Despite Alec’s best efforts, hope began to bubble up inside of him. Could this be the light at the end of the tunnel? It wouldn’t solve everything, but it would at least hold whoever had orchestrated everything accountable for what they had done. 

“Okay,” Alec conceded. “I will have to talk about it with Magnus, but this sounds like it could really help us. Thank you, Izzy.”

Smiling, Izzy nodded once. “Of course, big brother. So does this mean that you are going over to Magnus’ tonight?”

Once more, Alec’s anxiety spiked. “I-I don’t know. I-I-...” he spluttered, struggling to find the right words. 

“Hold on!” Clary exclaimed, reaching for her purse by the side of the bed and digging out her phone. “I think I can help.” 

“How so?” Jace asked, not unkindly.

Clary grinned when her hand emerged from the bag clutching her phone. “I can get Alec a police escort.”

***

Half an hour later, Detective Luke Garroway arrived to pick Alec up. He had pulled into the dorm’s parking lot so that Alec wouldn’t have to try to get in on the street. Izzy, Jace, and Clary walked down with Alec to meet him, and Clary quickly found herself wrapped in a bear hug when Luke stepped out of the car. “Hey, kiddo,” he greeted her, a huge smile showing off his bright white teeth. Luke Garroway had been the only father figure that Clary had ever known, and after her mother passed away from breast cancer he had practically adopted the girl. Although it wasn’t bound in blood or by legality, the two of them were father and daughter nonetheless. 

“Thank you, sir,” Alec said formerly, reaching out to shake the detective’s hand. Luke shook it but looked like he would rather give Alec a hug instead.

“Clary has kept me up to date with everything going on with you right now,” Luke explained after shaking Jace and Izzy’s hands as well. “I’d be more than happy to help, especially after what she said happened today.” Luke smiled at Clary as a truly proud father would before looking back to Alec. “I’m sorry about all that, by the way,” he apologized. “It’s not fair what you and your boyfriend are going through.”

“Thank you, sir,” Alec replied, feeling a bit awkward. “It’s not your fault though.”

“Please, call me Luke,” the detective responded. “And I know, but I still feel like somebody had ought to, for humanity’s sake.”

Alec smiled and hugged his brother, sister, and friend goodbye, squeezing Clary a bit tighter than usual and thanking her, then climbed into the passenger side of the vehicle, stuffing his duffel bag on the floor in front of him. The drive was fairly quiet, but not uncomfortably so. Luke asked Alec about school and life, but not in a prying way. Something about the man was so paternal, and Alec instantly understood why Clary had come to see him as a father. One car ride and Alec was wishing he could call the man his dad too.

When they arrived at Magnus’ apartment building, there were a fair number of paparazzi milling around out front. By the way they were looking at their cameras and murmuring to each other or to someone over the phone, they had gotten something new. 

“Good luck,” Luke bid as Alec pulled his bag into his lap and prepared to face his fears. Alec Alec smiled and nodded a ‘thank you.’ He made it three steps from the car before the paparazzi descended on him like he was Tippi Hedren and they were a swarm of Hitchcockian birds. But before Alec could have a repeat performance of his earlier breakdown, Luke was standing by him helping to guide him toward the door. Gabriel was waiting for them and quickly shuttled them inside, slamming the door closed on the vultures. Alec gave both men a grateful smile and thanked them for their help. 

Taking a few minutes to compose himself and even out his breathing, Alec hit the button for the elevator, stood back, and waited.

***

An hour had passed since Magnus’ fight with his father. After finally mustering up the nerve to tell him that Alec would be coming over and asking him to give them space tonight, Asmodeus had blown up at him. Realistically, Magnus knew that his father was just throwing a fit due to not getting his way and likely wouldn’t have said the cruel things that he had, but regardless, his words had struck Magnus at the heart of his insecurities. Magnus had always worried that Asmodeus secretly resented having his secret love child dumped on him one day. And then he had worried about never being enough for the man, living in fear of disappointing him. But Magnus was also terrified of becoming his father, not wanting to be someone as ruthless and capable of cruelty as he was. And in one fight, Asmodeus had made his son relive all of these things at once before storming out of the apartment, slamming the door so hard that it rattled on its hinges.

Officially having reached his breaking point, Magnus curled back up on the couch holding Chairman Meow in his lap while he cried, listening to the playlist Alec had made for him on Valentines Day. He hoped that all of the songs detailing how they would always be together through good times and bad were true and not just superficial romantic gestures. 

Time seemed to drag on forever as Magnus waited for Alec to arrive. He checked his phone every few minutes to see if Alec had sent him a message saying that he was on his way only to mentally chastise himself when he remembered how they couldn’t text anymore. And despite the rational part of his brain telling him that Alec was not taking as long as he seemed to, the other part whispered to Magnus that Alec wasn’t coming and he was going to be alone and everything that happened with his father was for nothing. This was the part of Magnus’ brain that won out and led him to open a bottle of scotch.

Just as Magnus was about to give up all hope, he heard a knock at the door, followed by the sound of a key turning in the lock. “Magnus?” Alec’s voice called out. Magnus lept to his feet, Chairman jumping off of him just in time to avoid being dumped on the floor, and bolted to see his boyfriend.

When Alec came into sight the two of them froze for a moment, staring at one another. Alec had the largest bags under his eyes that Magnus had ever seen. Magnus knew for a fact that he himself had eye makeup streaked across his face and that his own dark circles couldn’t have been much better.

Suddenly, the spell between them broke as Alec dropped the duffle bag he had with him to the floor and made quick strides towards Magnus. When he reached him, Alec cupped Magnus’ face in both hands and kissed him hard until both of their lungs were on fire. Finally stopping to breath, the young men wrapped their arms around each other as tightly as they could, fearing that if they let go the other might slip away from them again.

Burying his face into the crook of Magnus’ shoulder, Alec closed his eyes as he reacquainted himself with the scent of Magnus’ hair and how solid and good and  _ right _ he felt in his arms. Similarly, Magnus was running his hands over every bit of Alec he could reach, as if trying to convince himself that Alec wasn’t just a figment of his intoxicated, lonely imagination.

“I’m never leaving home without you again,” Alec murmured against Magnus’ neck, still breathing deeply.

And once more that evening, both of them cried.

***

A few hours later, after several rounds of intense I-love-you-and-I-missed-you-please-never-leave-me-ever-again sex, Alec laid curled up practically on top of Magnus with his head on his chest, listening to the rhythm of Magnus’ heartbeat growing steadier. He sincerely could not have cared less about his one arm going slightly numb beneath him. Magnus had both of his arms wrapped around Alec, making sure that he wasn’t going anywhere. Because they couldn’t be close enough, they tangled their legs together as well, which also guaranteed that neither of them was moving any time soon.

They laid together in silence, feeling as though the world had finally been restored to equilibrium. Fuck whatever consequences they may face going further, Magnus and Alec wouldn’t ever go back to being separated. They were two miscellaneous puzzle pieces whose jagged edges fit together perfectly. And if they had only been able to survive two weeks apart by the skin of their teeth, a future where they were apart was unfathomable. 

Idly tracing patterns across Magnus’ right pec, Alec thought about how different he was from the reclusive, guarded young man who had walked into Magnus’ apartment that November night. The man he was back then knew love as it pertained to family, but never in a million years would he have thought that he would love so much one day that he could feel the love for him in his bones. Magnus made being the best version of himself easy for Alec. And when Alec wasn’t his best, Magnus loved him even then. It wouldn’t be any time soon, likely not until after he had graduated and found a job, but Alec knew with absolute certainty that he was going to marry this man. And because of this, he had to stop lying to him.

“Magnus?” Alec asked softly, his movements faltering slightly.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I have to tell you something.”

Neither of them moved as Magnus waited patiently for Alec to put his thoughts into words. Taking a breath and wetting his lips, Alec spoke. “I didn’t tell you the whole story about what happened that day with Max,” he confessed. “I left a part out.”

It was quiet again as Magnus waited for him to continue. One thing Alec loved about him was how Magnus allowed Alec to get everything out before trying to add his (welcome) input.

“The reason why I was late leaving school,” Alec began, “was because I was waiting around to ask this guy out. His name was Tommy Ettinger. I’d had a crush on him for a long time and it only got worse once we were assigned to be each other’s lab partners. We got really close and became friends and I really, really thought that there was something there.”

“What happened?” Magnus inquired when Alec went quiet for a few moments.

“It didn’t go well,” Alec answered in a sad voice. “Max knew that I liked Tommy and we made each other a deal that if I asked him out then Max would ask his crush—this girl named Elizabeth Kennedy—out as well. That’s why he was walking to the coffee shop alone. He knew Elizabeth went and did her homework there after school and wanted to ask her out. I didn’t want to make things weird by being there and Max was supposed to text me to let me know that he made it and how it went. But he never made it there.”

Magnus ran his fingers through Alec’s hair deep enough that they dragged across his scalp. It was an incredibly soothing feeling and the only thing keeping Alec steady enough to talk about Max. “And you and Tommy?” Magnus queried, already having an idea where this was headed.

Alec sighed heavily and nuzzled his face against Magnus’ chest. “I got rejected. But it wasn’t just that. He got all homophobic and cruel; said he was going to tell everyone about me. He did tell a few guys, eventually, but he held off on it because of Max. Guess he wasn’t a complete asshole.”

“Oh he was an asshole alright,” Magnus affirmed, making Alec laugh slightly.

“That’s part of why I became as shut-off as I did,” Alec admitted, a frown falling on his face. “Because the same day I was finally brave enough to be open about my feelings to someone was the same day that I lost my brother. And I always associated the two of them. Until I met you.”

With this, Alec lifted his head to look at Magnus’ face. Magnus was looking at him with an expression of surprise and love and trust. “My Alexander,” he breathed before pulling Alec up to meet his lips. They had shared many kisses that night, but this one was languid and lingering with no heat behind it. Instead, it was one of those kisses so packed full of words that you had to keep kissing to get them all out.

When the kiss ended, Alec smiled serenely and brushed Magnus’ hair back off of his face. “I love you so much,” he purred, tracing his thumb over Magnus’ puffy lips. Magnus lifted one of his hands to the side of Alec’s face and Alec leaned into it before pressing a kiss to his palm.

“Can I tell you something too?” Magnus asked in a whisper. Alec nodded and laid down on the bed beside him so that they were facing one another. They tangled their fingers together and looked down at where their joined hands lay in between them.

“I too didn’t tell you everything about my situation with my mom,” Magnus revealed. “When my stepfather came home and found my mother and me, he lost it. We were never exactly close, I knew he wasn’t my real dad, but he was the only father figure that I had. We got along well enough. But none of that mattered to him that day. He said that my mother’s death was my fault and that I was the reason that she was so depressed. He told me that her finding out that she was pregnant was what started it all and ruined her life and any hope that she had of leaving that town as they had planned. She didn’t know she was pregnant when they first started dating and they got married very fast so that she would have security and stability.”

Giving Magnus’ hand a squeeze, Alec let him know that he was there for him and that it was okay to continue.

“After he got done screaming at me,” Magnus went on, thankful for the support, “he went out to the barn and killed himself. We couldn’t afford a phone and we lived so far out of town, so I had to walk a quarter of a mile to our closest neighbor’s house.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he resumed where he had left off.

“I know that all the stories make it seem as if my father swooped in right after my mother passed, but that wasn’t the case. I spent two months in two different foster homes, the first of which got shut down due to how poor the conditions were. The second was better but it was still overcrowded and unfamiliar. It wasn’t until the attorney to my mother’s estate found bank records that traced back to Asmodeus and reached out to him that he came to get me. And growing up with him was…” Magnus trailed off and Alec nodded in understanding. 

“Thank you for telling me, Magnus” Alec responded truthfully. “I can’t even imagine what that must have been like. I’m so sorry.”

Smiling sadly, Magnus blinked away tears threatening to squeeze their way out of his sore tear ducts. And when Alec pulled him in for a hug he went willingly.

Despite the emotional and now physical exhaustion they felt, neither Magnus or Alec were quite ready to fall asleep yet. Instead, they talked, telling each other everything that had happened to them in their time apart in detail. When Magnus had told him about how he had been listening to Alec’s playlist every day and Alec admitted to doing the same, they somehow came to the decision that they felt like dancing.

As happy as Magnus and Alec both were to be back in each other’s lives and each other’s arms, an underlying sadness still remained. Sadness for the passing of their loved ones, the time they lost, each of their mental and emotional struggles, and for the inevitable hardships yet to come until they figured out who had dropped this bombshell on their lives. However, despite all of this, the tiniest flicker of hope began to burn inside their chests.

And so, as they danced naked in the moonlight across the bedroom floor to David Gray’s “This Year’s Love,” Magnus and Alec made a promise to one day give each other forever, and every single day after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for reading this story and any other work of mine that I have published. 
> 
> Edit: School is making updating this fic kind of hard, so please, please be patient with me 🙏❤


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Maia Roberts P.I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I'm so, so sorry this is so short and taken me so long to post. College is keeping me mighty busy and so I don't have much time to work on this fic. But I promise that I haven't forgotten all of you. My next update will probably be over my next school break this November <3

With Alec now having moved back in, both he and Magnus seemed to always be walking on eggshells around Asmodeus. The imposing man had made his stance  _ very _ clear once Alec had still been there a few days. It wasn’t easy, but with Alec firmly holding his hand, Magnus told his father that this was his apartment, and if he had an issue with Alec staying there, then he could go back to L.A.. A look Magnus had never seen before crossed Asmodeus’ face at that, and the man said that he would be making a reservation at a hotel and stopping by every day until they found the hacker. 

Magnus and Alec were more than happy to have the loft more or less to themselves once more, and celebrated accordingly. Namely, Alec cooking breakfast the morning after Asmodeus left wearing nothing but an apron Magnus bought him online that said “Hot Stuff Coming Through.” Yeah, Magnus had really liked coming out to the kitchen and finding that.

Once the couple were settled back in, it was time to meet with Maia. Izzy and Clary had made good on their word and convinced her and Simon to take a look into the case. Magnus and Alec held each other’s hand as they recounted the situation in detail. Of course, both Ragnor and Asmodeus were present during this time. Maia truly was one of the most badass people alive as she had been able to silence Asmodeus entirely with a single “You. Quiet.” This was accompanied by a look that could have made an avalanche stop dead in its tracks and turn-tail in the opposite direction.

Maia took thorough notes, stopping Magnus or Alec only once or twice to clear up a point or have them repeat their stories. At the end, Ragnor gave Simon the hacked cell phones and bugs they had recovered from the around the loft and gave Maia any information he and Asmodeus’ people had managed to gather. Maia left, saying that they would be in touch. But before Simon was able to follow behind her Alec pulled him to the side and gave him the obligatory big brother speech on how the guy had better not hurt Izzy. 

“Trust me,” Simon assured him, “Izzy will beat you to the punch.”

“That she will,” Alec confirmed, a smirk on his face. “And she is studying for a degree in forensics, so she’ll know how to hide your body too.”

With that, Simon gulped and nodded frantically before scurrying away. “You’re the worst,” Magnus chided Alec playfully, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. 

Alec turned in his arms and gave Magnus a quick peck on the lips. “That’s not what you said last night,” he purred into Magnus’ ear. A shiver ran down Magnus’ spine and they both started laughing at how cheesy the moment was. 

Just over Magnus’ shoulder, Alec caught a glimpse of Asmodeus watching them. When he noticed, the older man quickly excused himself and left the apartment.

***

A few days later, Alec received a call from Maia. “Wow, that was fast,” he remarked as he answered the phone.

“ _ I’m good at what I do _ ,” Maia replied with an edge of well-deserved cockiness in her voice. “ _ That’s why I need you and Magnus to get to your dorm room ASAP. I have a potential lead, courtesy of your roommate. _ ”

Alec felt his stomach flip over. “Well at least he’s good for something,” he murmured. The snort that came from the other end of the phone made him feel infinitesimally better. Maia really had met Raj then. “We’ll be there,” Alec assured her and hung up. Taking a deep breath, he went to tell Magnus to get ready.

A while later, after getting dropped off by Luke, Magnus and Alec sat on Alec’s bare bed facing Raj and Maia.

“Tell them what you told me,” Maia instructed. Raj looked fearfully between her and the other guys before letting his head fall in shame.

“I thought it was my chance to get my fifteen seconds of fame,” Raj mumbled. Maia elbowed him. “Not that, tell them about the guy who approached you.”

Raj swallowed nervously and lifted his head up a little. “It was this guy from  _ Celebrities Exposed! _ . He was...weird. But he told me that if I skewed the story to make Alec really look like an asshole, then he would take care of the charges for me breaking that NDA and he would pay for my tuition. It was too good to pass up.”

Gritting his teeth, Alec tried to keep his temper. Everything in him wanted to launch himself at his former roommate and beat him senseless. Not that he had any to begin with, clearly. Alec felt himself relax, however, when Magnus’ hand found his.

“What did this guy look like?” Magnus asked, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of Alec’s hand.

Taking a moment to think, Raj said, “He had a really sharp face. Like super sharp cheekbones. And he had platinum blond hair but it looked...off.”

Alec’s head shot up. “Like it was a wig or something?” he asked.

“Yeah, like it wasn’t real,” Raj confirmed.

Taking a sharp breath, Alec looked at Magnus and Maia. “I know that guy.” Magnus’ eyes grew wide and Maia quickly shooed Raj out of the room. He tried to apologize to Alec as he left, only to be met with three voices commanding him to “GO!”

“Darling?” Magnus prompted. “You said you know who ran that reporter is?” Alec nodded.

“I don’t know his name,” Alec clarified, “but it sounds like the same guy who was asking me about Max.”

“Your little brother’s death is public record,” Maia said, not unkindly. “And while that situation must be traumatizing, and the guy’s callousness in approaching you about it was undoubtedly cruel, I don’t see how this helps us find your two’s stalker.”

“That’s the thing,” Alec insisted, “the things he asked me...they weren’t ever made public. He shouldn’t have known that I was involved or that—” He cut himself off. 

“What shouldn’t he have known, Alec?” Maia pressed.

It was only the grounding feeling of Magnus squeezing his hand that allowed Alec to speak, albeit in a small voice. “That I blame myself for it happening.”

Magnus pulled Alec into a hug to comfort him. “As you can see,” he said to Maia as Alec buried his face in his chest and the soft fabric of the stolen sweatshirt, “it’s not something that he talks about to just anybody. In fact, the two of us only spoke about Max one time before that incident with the press.”

Maia went very quiet as she began working something out in her head. “When was that?” she asked suddenly.

“Huh?” Magnus asked, confused by the question.

“When exactly did you two talk about Max and how?” Maia repeated, her tone deeply serious.

“The night we met,” Alec answered, turning his head away from Magnus’ soft sweater. “The night of Magnus’ birthday party after everybody had left.”

Pacing back and forth, Maia stopped suddenly. She pulled out her phone and furiously typed up a text message. After hitting send, she looked up to face the boys. “I think that guy is the one who bugged the apartment and I think I know how he did it.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author finally gets her shit together to update this fic and bring the mystery a bit closer to the end with some more emotional mother-son moments.
> 
> (please read end AN)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nervous laughter* Did I say I would try updating in November? Cus I clearly meant late December the day I head back to school for another semester :DDDDD
> 
> Thank you to my girl Josie (@SilencedFlea on Twitter) for beta reading this chapter for me. You're a star.
> 
> Fic tag is #coveswena on Twitter if you feel like tweeting.

“He was there the night of the party?” Magnus asked, repeating Maia’s words back to her.

Maia nodded. “That has to be the case. It was the perfect opportunity to do it as well. He could have blended into the crowd and slipped away and you two would be none the wiser.”

“But that still doesn’t explain how our phones were hacked,” Alec said, mulling over all the new information.

“There is a multitude of ways to hack into someone's phone,” Maia informed him with a grimace. “If someone was stalking you, they could have done it when you connected to public wifi in the library or at a coffee shop. From there, they would have only needed to get Magnus’ number from your phone.” 

Alec paled at the thought that this could all be his fault yet again.

“Or,” Maia continued, “one of your friends’ or siblings’ phones could have gotten hacked and they got both of your information that way. I can’t say for certain how you both got hacked, but I think that it would be worth our time and effort to examine all of your close contacts’ phones as well.”

“My father, Ragnor, and Raphael are clean,” Magnus informed her. “They had their phones checked when ours were. I will have Catarina bring you hers to get examined.”

“And I’ll have Jace, Izzy, and Clary give you theirs,” Alec added.

“Sounds good,” Maia said, nodding in approval. “I’ll want to check your roommate’s too just in case. Finally, I’m going to hunt down a photo of our sketchy journalist friend and have Simon run it through facial recognition software.”

“Thank you for all of this, Maia,” Magnus said sincerely. “We’ve learned more in the short time you’ve been on the case than we had in weeks.”

“I’m happy to be of service,” Maia assured him. “Besides, this whole situation is beyond fucked up, and it isn’t fair that you two can’t just live your lives anymore because of it.”

As they parted ways, Alec got an inkling in his chest that he’d very much like to become friends with Maia Roberts one day.

***

With their phones currently in Maia’s custody, Jace and Izzy hadn’t been able to warn their brother of what their mother was going to do. So when Alec stopped to pick up some coffee for Magnus and himself on his way to Magnus’ loft, he had not been expecting it when his credit card got declined. Nor had he expected all of his accounts to be frozen when he had sheepishly made his way over to the ATM to try to pay for the drinks in cash. Apologizing profusely and making a mental note to himself that he could no longer show his face in that particular coffee shop ever again, Alec started to scurry home to Magnus, freaking out that their hacker friend may have gotten his hands on Alec’s financial information.

Since he’d started coming and going from the loft once more, Ragnor had hired the same bodyguard, Everett, and his team who normally protected Magnus to shadow Alec too. He would step in to keep Alec safe from any potential danger and he did wonders at keeping paparazzi at bay. Upon seeing Alec’s flight from the coffee shop, Everett ran up alongside Alec, pulled him aside and asked him what was wrong. Trembling, Alec told him of his suspicions and the need to inform his boyfriend. 

Everett nodded in acknowledgment. “I’ll let Ragnor and the security team know about this once we get back to the building,” he informed Alec as he made to flag down a taxi.

Alec bit his lip and tried to remain as calm as he could.

***

“Magnus!” Alec called frantically once he’d unlocked the door and slipped inside the apartment. “Magnus, I think—” He cut himself off when he reached the living room and saw who was currently occupying it. 

“Mom?” Alec croaked out, mentally trying to process the image of her sitting in a chair across from where Magnus had curled up on the couch. Magnus looked at his boyfriend with big apologetic eyes, begging for forgiveness for this trespass. Not that Alec blamed him at all. He knew that Maryse Lightwood was a force of nature.

Getting to her feet, Maryse smoothed out her business-casual dress and made her way over to her eldest child. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” she said in the ‘mom’ tone of voice all children are taught to fear, “you and I need to have a conversation.”

Alec gulped, completely frozen in fear. He’d fucked up and he knew it. And, like a coward, he’d been hiding from his problems instead of facing them.

“Since you don’t seem to know how to answer your phone, it appears that the only way that I could get your attention was to cut you off financially.” Alec turned the color of a corpse until she told him that, yes, she still had his tuition taken care of.

Once some color had returned to Alec’s face, Maryse continued on, taking two steps towards him. “I don't even know where to begin with you. You lie to me, you ignore my calls and text messages for weeks, not to mention you’ve gotten yourself caught up in a whole mess of trouble.”

“I…” Alec was completely lost for words. Where did he even begin? That he’s sorry? That he’s gay? Ask her why she was in his boyfriend’s apartment?

“Ah-ah,” Maryse shushed him, covering the rest of the distance between them. Alec was several heads taller than his mother, but right now he felt like an ant compared to her, shrinking under the weight of her gaze. Worrying that she might actually slap him, Alec closed his eyes and held his breath, trying not to flinch prematurely.

He was taken aback, however, when Maryse wrapped him in a huge. “I’m so mad at you,” she said, emotion thick in her voice. “You’ve worried me absolutely sick.”

The breath Alec was holding escaped his lungs in a gasp and he opened his eyes, frantically searching to Magnus’. When the boyfriends did lock eyes they shared a mirrored expression of confused relief. 

Pulling back from the hug, Maryse looked up at Alec and placed a hand on the side of his face. “Mijo, I am so, so sorry about everything that you have been going through. I wish that you had come and talked to me.”

Alec searched his mother’s face desperately, feeling about eight years old and fourteen-years-old again. “I understand why you didn’t though,” Maryse acknowledged, seeing her son’s fragile mental state.

“I didn’t want you to hate me.” The words escaped as a sob from Alec’s lips. Next thing he knew, tears dotted the corners of his eyes. “Not after Max. I know you blame me, and you should—” Another sob wracked him, and Alec’s tears began to fall in earnest.

Maryse wiped his tears with both of her hands and pulled Alec into another hug. Alec felt himself sag into her, fighting not to collapse into his mother’s arms completely. “I don’t blame you _mijo_ ,” she consoled him. “What happened with Max...It was an accident. You loved your brother. You were always so good with him, even when he was being a little terror. You’ve punished yourself enough, Alec. And you have nothing you should be punished for.”

Sniffling back the snot wanting to drip out of his nose, Alec shook in Maryse’s arms a few more times before reluctantly pulling away. As he did, he saw that Magnus had come to stand just a way back from them with a tissue box in his hands. “I thought we might need these,” he offered in a quiet voice, clearly not wanting to interrupt the two.

Smiling despite himself, Alec nodded and Magnus stepped forward with the box. “Thank you, Magnus,” Alec said as he took a small handful of tissues. “You’re the best.”

Magnus smiled and stood on his tiptoes to give Alec a kiss on the forehead. Alec smiled at him gratefully before Magnus turned and offered the box to Maryse. Alec hadn’t been able to tell, but the smudges of makeup around her eyes told him that his mother had been crying as well. Maryse gave Magnus an appreciative look and grabbed a tissue to dab her eyes with.

“Perhaps we should all sit down now,” Magnus suggested, seeing how much the emotional conversation had taken out of the two of them physically.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Maryse replied, squeezing Alec’s shoulder reassuringly before returning to her chair. 

Alec sat next to Magnus on the couch, his hand instinctively reaching out to hold his boyfriend’s. It wasn’t until he saw his mother’s gaze flick down to their hands and back up that Alec realized what he’d done. Flinching as if he’d just burnt his hand on the stove, he pulled his hand back from Magnus. He didn’t need to see Magnus’ face to know he’d been hurt by the action, and Alec hated himself for it.

Searching between the faces of the two young men, Maryse let out a resigned sigh. “You don’t have to hide, Alec. I’ve seen the two of you doing much more than holding hands.” Alec felt the tips of his ears get hot at the thought of his mother having seen any of the NSFW photos circulating the Internet.

“It’s not exactly how any parent wants to find out that their child is gay and in a relationship,” she went on, “but the truth always comes out one way or another.” Turning to face just her son, Maryse fixed him with a serious look. “And really, Alec? ‘Magnolia’?”

Magnus erupted into laughter as Alec threw his head back. “Oh my god, not you too!”

“It’s so bad,” Magnus wheezed, draping himself over his boyfriend.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Alec grumbled, trying and failing not to smile. “None of you are ever going to let this go, are you?”

“Never,” Magnus and Maryse answered in unison, breaking the last of Alec’s resolve.

Things went surprisingly smoothly the rest of the night now that everything was out in the open. For the next few hours, Magnus and Alec filled Maryse in on everything that had happened with their stalker, before moving on to talk about their relationship in general. 

Maryse couldn’t help but smile at the soft looks passed between the two young men or the way they playfully nudged one another. She hadn’t seen her son this happy in almost over a decade. And while she had more or less come to terms with Alec’s sexuality on her own over the past few weeks, any misgivings Maryse had left dissipated when she saw him and Magnus together in person. She and Robert hadn’t looked at each other like that in years since they’d been married. Maryse hoped that things would turn out better for her two boys than they had for her. 

And if that meant murdering that bloody stalker with her own two hands to do so, then so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the first few chapters were pretty long, but I think that starting with the last chapter, the rest of this story is going to be updated with shorter, more concise chapters. That being said, with the way I have things plotted out now, I think that there will be a total of 12 chapters and an epilogue. I have another very busy semester ahead of me, so I still don't know what updates are going to look like. I do have a chunk of chapter 9 already written, so hopefully, that will be up pretty soon as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Twitter at @enthusiasm85 and please feel free to tag me if you do decide to tweet about this story. I love to see people's reactions.
> 
> Love you all! Be good people <3


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